And Then and That

As love becomes deepest
Emotions even at their slightest details
Are naturally highlighted
Leaving the lover to just succumb to the feeling
And cruise to that vacuum of hunger and yearning.
I am your lover.
Your imperfect and flawed lover
A lover so human
Can be resilient yet fragile
I am your lover
And I long for you.
Oh, I miss you to the nth time…
But there are just moments
That I don’t want to say ‘I miss you’
Because I found myself missing you more
And this is a terrible kind of missing
A kind of missing that makes me feel empty
A kind of missing that changes the pace of weeks
A kind of missing that leads to teardrops…
But missing you means loving you beyond comparison
And I could only think of all the simile and metaphor I know
But none of them will speak perfectly what I feel
Yet your love makes me seek the solace from poetry
Poetry in its freedom and flexibility
And you are my poem
You are my serendipity
A fulfilled destiny…
And I’ll never leave you
At your side, there shall I be always
You are God’s promise
And in times like this that the pining just becomes strongest and inmost
And sometimes unbearable
I find myself wishing that I can turn me into you
And be exactly where you are
In place and in time
I wish I could just liquefy myself and thaw my heart
And send the vapor instantly and be there sailing in corners and borders
Without being shaken, without fear and helplessness
I hope to just suddenly then become unshakable
Then become the fearless and invincible me…
But I can only be a poet for you
And I can only miss you more and more
And then be your lover forever
That would be everything I can ever be
And that would be my all.

Kwaderno to Advance to the National Finals of Search for TAYO

Kwaderno is among the top 5 organizations that will advance to the National Finals of the Search for Ten Accomplished Youth Organizations (TAYO)! Each time I share the story of Kwaderno's A Child Worker No More and Sponsor a Child Project, I am moved by the possibilities that are now waiting to our children whom we first met as pedicab driver, construction worker, farmer, errand boy, nanny and garbage collector and how they now dream of becoming seafarers, engineers, teachers and social worker. I am moved by how they are now inspiring other children in the community and all of our partners and volunteers. Our impact is God's work and there is something special about Kwaderno that beyond words can explain, something that speaks directly to the soul--- the touched lives, the relationships formed, the hope that is filling each page of our journey, and yes, the love that we have found that has made us one community wherever we are...

Sharing about our "A Child Worker No More and Sponsor A Child Project" that gives scholarship to children workers in Negros Occidental and how we use online and offline networking to raise funds for our scholars 

TAYO 12 Team Visayas Finalists

with Kwaderno volunteers Joey and Jessan 

With other organizations that made it to the top 5

We Live to Love

If there is just one thing that the world needs so that it will be at its best, so that there will be peace and understanding, so that a beautiful future is assured to the younger generation, then that would be nothing else but love. This world needs love because the reason why there are people who suffer, who feel lonely, who are poor and helpless is not just an economical thing. There is a hunger of love and such can only be filled by acts of love alone.

True love yields goodness. It yields hope and bigger dreams. It gives a different meaning and feeling even to sacrifices. We experience life the moment we love our neighbors, ourselves, and even our enemies. We live to share our talents and our gifts to others and to the world. We live to love.

May all of us be reminded of this most important commandment and may we find the beauty on it. Though it would require us to do something, to give something or give up something, love should not just be seen as a responsibility. Rather, it should also be seen as a privilege. To be able to know how to love is the best experience ever because it has the power to transform you at your best.

http://notebooksforlife.blogspot.com/

One Minute Poetry

And I feel dead 

Waiting for words from you

And I just can’t breathe 

When I feel your absence

I long for you so much

More than I ever long to anyone else

More than I long to people combined

I am crazier than the craziest

So anxious of when the moon 

Or the waves and the stars

Would send me something from you…

Oh heart please just freeze for a while

Don’t think, don’t feel

Just hope and pray

Just let faith overpower you

And let love be in control…

Loving the Rain

     In all of my prayers, you are always there. I thank the Lord because your path meets mine in the rightest time for both of us, and though we started feeling wounded, anxious, unprepared strangers, God's hands has been working in us. Your coming and the impact that you have been making and the extent of participation I would like you to take in my life continuously surprise me. I did not expect this to happen. I am not expecting to really love this much, to miss this much, to long this much. You are heaven's surprise to me. Because of you, love suddenly has its purest and truest meaning--- a love that heals, a love that trusts, a love that dreams, a love that does concrete actions, a love that waits, a love that aims for nothing else but the best, a love that multiplies joy... 

      I thought I will never get to write things about love again, except pain or deception, or heartaches. I thought I have nothing else to say about romantic stuff except no. But you came, and then made me realize that what I know about love is not yet love. But you came, and just unleashed the strength in me, and I suddenly want to jump into the risk, and say yes without doubt. Because of you, I am finding the words I am saying now. And for sure, if I didn't find you, these words will never be weaved together; they will just be empty words---though they mean something, yet they wouldn't mean what they mean now. Each word I had used and been telling you since last time are words that will now have a deeper meaning to us, a connection that will bind us, something that both our souls will just understand.. the rain, the moon, the oceans, the love, fun, first and last and the rest are words that will now have meaning that speaks to us in the same manner. The language of love, that is... And words that have been repeated each time shall continually have more intense meaning and will live on and be nurtured by acts, by words, by thoughts, and prayers...

Roller Coaster

It was already more than a year ago since I have written this poem but each time I find myself reading this, I could still have the exact emotions all over again...Thanks to words and to the flexible beauty of poetry.

They say that life is like a roller coaster ride

And I agree

With all its curves, ups and downs…

An analogy of life’s happiness and tears, success and failures.

And then all the forwards and the backwards…

Just like the risks you take in your journey and how they could change you…

It’s a ride that you could jerk around from side to side too,

And you feel the pain—But you care not

For you know that you are having a different kind of fun…

A ride that is dynamic and thrilling

And though it’s a track with a designed pattern—

You still won’t know how it feels to be in the loops and inversions unless you are really there.

It’s something that is unique for you based on how you experience it—

Just like life.

In that roller coaster ride, you seem to be so free.

You screamed.

 You raised your hands up high.

Yes, you are free— you thought you are— until you look within and realized you are restrained…

Yes, just like life.

And I had always think life and love to be inseparable…

And to be more exact, even synonymous

That they are one and the other won’t exist without the other…

And so applying some logic, then, love is like a roller coaster ride too…

But I don’t want love to be like that roller coaster ride…

I don’t want the waiting to be longer than the actual moment…

I don’t want to be suddenly placed in the highest possible post

And then be dragged down in a split of seconds…

I don’t want to feel as though I am being headed forward

and though I am not totally certain—

I just can’t resist it…

For I enjoyed it. I loved it. I did.

I don’t want love to be like that roller coaster ride—

That when you seem to be enjoying the thrust already

You’ll then find yourself being moved backwards…

Yes, I expected it, but I’m still shocked…

Perhaps it’s the result of the ‘foolish me’

And there’s that twirl again of confusion

And though you have no wounds in the outside

You know how shaky you are within,

You know that battles are unceasingly launched inside you,

You know you are not in control—

And all you can do is let yourself be carried along by that chair that keeps you moving…

You were silenced a little bit by the thought that you are being headed somewhere

For you had been used of being anxious each time you feel that you are not moving…

But you, one day realized that there was really no movement at all from you and for you—

You only flow as to where the wind leads you…

A very fast journey, that’s the roller coaster ride…

And there you were— you ended up in the same place

Back to where you started the jaunt…

But again, I don’t want it that way, but is there something that I can do?

Something to do aside from going through the what-seems-like-hell-process…?

I think it’s tragic to love someone and then coming to the point of having to stop

Just like how roller coaster brought you back—

You have to turn that person an acquaintance or stranger again, for you to end up your illusion,

Fix your mistakes

Do the right thing…

And not complicate things.

There I was, voicing out the feelings— but still empty.

Yes, the foolish me…

That roller coaster— that has trembled all your sanities,

Would have to ask you down— though you are still unprepared to stand…

And so you don’t know where and how to exit…

You thought you are used to that— but poor foolish you, you’re not…

Pain is still killing you…

But you have to try to find your strength and be back to your senses

Would you need an ice cream or what? Would you need the darkness or pinching music?

Or find other things to hurt you?

Oh, what now?

Push yourself, get down the stairs, and take some steps—

Ride a jeep, do your research output… Oh, I don’t know…

But please, just take some steps…

The roller coaster ride is over…

It’s over.

And it’s hard to explain that something painful has transpired…

They ask you this. They ask you that.

You chose to be silent, tired of trying to find words—

Oh, it’s just hard to find words…

Because you’ve got no scars that you can show to them after that ride…

Yes, no visible scars…

Only tears which you can easily wipe and dry,

And only the heart that has been smashed again…

Smashed into pieces again…

Siquijor: It's Bewitching me

  

      It was the glow of the fireflies that has made the Spanish colonizers before called Siquijor as the ‘Isla de Fuego’ or Island of Fire. But they were really right. Siquijor is really glowing, with all the magic in it—in places and in people. 

       When you travel to find healing, let whatever pain you have had remain as pain that has once shaken you but will no longer cause you suffering in the present. Life has billions of other wonderful things to offer each time and let every sunrise be your assurance of new beginnings. God will never waste our tears. At times, we are hurt to be blessed more and to discover what could even be stronger, lovelier and fruitful--- what could be more authentic and everlasting. Wounds should be seen not as scars anymore, but wisdom now. Siquijor is an ideal place to meditate with its historical churches like the St. Francis of Assisi Church and the San Isidro Labrador Church and Convent, one of the country’s oldest and largest spiritual structures.

   Salagdoong Beach is located in a cove and the view of the shore makes it even relaxing. 

        

        Cambugahay Falls features shallow multi-tiered waterfalls, perfect for those who want to take some dip, and for brave souls, you can also try doing a “tarzan jump.”

           And of course, to get the taste of the mystical side of Siquijor, don’t forget to find your way to this ancient balete tree which has strange spring that emanates from the base and flows straight into a man-made pool. The water is clean and with fish swimming in it, one can instantly enjoy an instant foot spa. 

       With stories about folk healing traditions and beautiful spots to experience and build memories with, this island in Central Visayas, has more reasons that is bewitching me, making me forget even for a while, the worries of the world.