We Live to Love

If there is just one thing that the world needs so that it will be at its best, so that there will be peace and understanding, so that a beautiful future is assured to the younger generation, then that would be nothing else but love. This world needs love because the reason why there are people who suffer, who feel lonely, who are poor and helpless is not just an economical thing. There is a hunger of love and such can only be filled by acts of love alone.

True love yields goodness. It yields hope and bigger dreams. It gives a different meaning and feeling even to sacrifices. We experience life the moment we love our neighbors, ourselves, and even our enemies. We live to share our talents and our gifts to others and to the world. We live to love.

May all of us be reminded of this most important commandment and may we find the beauty on it. Though it would require us to do something, to give something or give up something, love should not just be seen as a responsibility. Rather, it should also be seen as a privilege. To be able to know how to love is the best experience ever because it has the power to transform you at your best.

http://notebooksforlife.blogspot.com/

Run and before you know it

       Just as the start of this week, I made another commitment to myself. I said I will be embracing my first ever sports when I was still in grade school: running. And guess what, later will be my fourth day of doing it straight!

       There is something in running that makes it so special. It is not only exceedingly beneficial to our body and to our mind but also in our spirit. Just when I started running again, new circle of friends, as well as newer knowledge and perspectives, newer way of combating stress, newer way of balancing time and newer dreams and visions came in.                  

       

With running buddy Charmaine and coach Narz

Day 2 Training at Bacolod City, New Government Center

       But if there’s another way that I would describe running, then, it would be something about really doing the actual run for you to be able to say that you really experience it. You cannot run by simply watching. You cannot run unless you move and lift your foot next to the other. It is on the process of listening to the beat of your heart and getting your back and your face wet of your own perspiration, that you encountered that feeling of becoming more energized and more focused. You came across the need for discipline. You realized that you should stay motivated. You found the value of dedication and endurance in the process, and before you know it, there you are, enjoying all the wonderful things life has to offer for you because you live longer, healthier and happier. 

with Cris, Joven and Lea

Fun Run at Mall of Asia, Pasay

Misgivings

Here's another beautifully crafted poem written by Anonymous Ken. 

In your silence I speak my mind

What you've lost I can find

Shut me out and you can hear me

Close your eyes, it is I you see.

In your thoughts hear me shout

What your life is all about

Of real hearts, all can lie

Painful sobs, your lullaby.

In your mind you betray

Your loyal self, your dismay

Have you gone off the edge

Broken self, broken pledge.

Hear me laugh in the night

As you close your eyes tight

In the dark, you're not spared

For your sins are all bared.

With yourself, you argue

Why great things they've left you

Barren, fertile hearts can go

Deserts even may soon snow.

Misgivings!

Damned misgivings!

Misgivings hurt the soul

The body takes the toll.

When will slaves be freed

From their hearts of greed?

Court yourself bring it to justice

Change your deeds, what you practise

Leave the pack and find your head

For with them you are dead.

Misgivings!

Burnt misgivings!

Take a break from your hell

Even you, you can tell

How you hide from the truth

Mask yourself with your youth!

Misgivings!

Sly misgivings!

Die tonight in your mask

To yourself you shall ask:

Have I led a decent life

Was sin ever my sole wife?

Did I leave a friend to hang

Did I push him to a tang?

Did I fail to shine my light

With a friend who was my might?

Misgivings!

Shrewd misgivings!

In Water

     It is a joy to feature this poem of a brilliant man, whose works never fails to amaze me. His metaphors and ways of connecting words and ideas would always make me reflect more. Works such as this shows one special and irrefutable thing - that there is soul in writing...

 In Water
By: Anonymous Ken

In lakes it can be still, in rivers the water falls
My hopes all surge from springs, the water sends some calls
I am a little cloud by lagoons I'm softly cradled
I'm running with the wind, all free, untamed, unbridled.

I am a little brook tiptoeing in the forest
A silent shrill my voice declaring love so earnest
But I can be a pond and peaceful I can be
Be glad to have some ripples, the ones that all can see.

And I can be a harbor with boats and ships in sight
Adorned by architecture and crowned with kinds of light.
Yes I can be a marsh, quite graceful but mysterious
Unsure what evil lurks, quite eerie, even vicious.

I'll be an oasis, in deserts I shall quench you
Or I can be a swamp, in forests you shall run through.
Shall I just be a stream which hopes to meet the sea
In deltas I can scream, so happy I can be!

I can be an inlet, so humble and obscure
Of waters I quiet, so simple and demure.
But I think I shall ask, this one important question
Can I just be a sea in the middle of an ocean?

Taken at Bangui, Ilocos Norte

Water above me
Water below me
Water around me
Water inside me.

Even my sorrows are washed away with water
As they escape from the windows of my soul
As I am cleansed when I do falter
My brokenness to be made whole.

Engulfed I was in sacred womb
In water I attained this life
Engulfed I'd be, my holy tomb
When water ends my strife.

Water above me, water below me
All goodness it shall rain
Water around me, water inside me
I vow to drown disdain.

Water above me, water below me
I cast my beating heart
Water around me, water inside me
Death is one holy art.

For love is but a series of deaths we don't imagine
And deaths are all beginnings of love, one pure contagion
In love we die each day, reborn to forge our death
In water can't take, the glory of one breath.

But water all we are, around us we are found
Convoluted and bizarre so funny it may sound
In water we shall live, in water we shall die
In water we decay, in water we shall fly!

Water above me
Water below me
Water around me
Water inside me. — in Bangui.

Our Stories

     One thing I like about revisiting my own childhood is the chance of possessing again the vitality and innocence of being a child---the excitement and the fantasies. In my childhood fantasies, I had dreamt of coming up with inventions that would change the future. In my childhood fantasies, I had wished of living during the time when countries and most islands were not yet discovered, so that I would spend my life navigating the globe, discovered those places and then name them after me, and after people I love. In my childhood fantasies, I had imagined myself becoming invisible whenever I wanted, so that when I needed to escape from my simple mistakes, I could just do so instantly. Gone were my childhood days and perhaps my childhood fantasies had also flown away. I realized that the world is far different from movies and fantasy books. We could not just move things with a magic wand. If we want to get somewhere else, we should travel. If we want to be freed from our mistakes, we should face the consequences of our actions. We should learn how to keep on moving despite our fears and weaknesses. We should seek for strength and wisdom in reflection, in loving and in prayers.

     But along the way too, I realized that such ‘fantasy worlds’ and perhaps juices of our creativity are just there with us still, though they are taking into their realistic forms. They are just somehow sleeping in some corners of our being, waiting to be triggered again so that they can come out once more. And I am just glad that the seeds of being imaginative remained intact in me because with it, comes the hope of making extra-ordinary things. Though, what I could create in my lifetime is something that could not astonish the world, it could at least inspire some. Every day we are actually producing something original, and extra-ordinary: that is our story. When we dream of beautiful stories for ourselves, for others and for the world, we should exert our efforts too in making them real. With faith and persistence, we will soon find ourselves looking back on how we have brought our childhood dreams, our thoughts and desires into life. Every day, we create our story. These are stories which we can write, stories which we can share, stories which can inspire, and stories which could teach us and anyone else. These stories are stories of our past, celebration of our present and hope for our future. These stories are stories that glorify God’s presence in our lives.

Becoming Twenty-Three

Twenty three years ago
In the island of Negros
Came into this world
A fragile child.
Few minutes missed
Could be her end
But she got some mission
And thus, she must live.
And meet people
From different places
And from various times

And then discover dreams
And turn them real.
And then that so called love,
She gave and received
And there shall be more to be done
More souls to be touched
More adventures and stories
That she will take and write
Cause God is always with her
And one does not turn twenty three
For nothing...

Embrace me, 2014

Goodbye 2013
With all your glories
Laughter and thrill
All the heartbreaks and music
The loss and the gain
Oh, see, hard times don’t last long
But I’m taking bits though
Of what I can have from your 364 days
To cherish and grow from and with
And they shall be mine until I die.
I don’t own those places
Only the memories
And they are enough.
I don’t own the circumstances
But I own my reflection
My dreams, my plans
I own forgiveness.
I own courage.
I don’t own people
But I had learned with them
And discovered experiences and feelings because of them
And I am loving them forever
And I am keeping them in my heart
And yes, I want to know new of them too
And I trust your ways of how you bring my path to theirs
And that excites and humbles me...
And I don’t own words
But from them, I’m spreading the message
Of essence and service
Of hope and peace...
The message of new beginning
Of finding happiness and freedom
While re and co-creating the cosmos
Through the perfect love of Jesus.

 Welcome 2014
With open arms and wandering soul
I am embracing you, gift of time
I am embracing you 2014…
Make me laugh, make me cry
Make me tender, but make me strong
Make me what you want me to be
Make me live more for myself and others.
Welcome 2014
Make me a mirror of love to the world
And day after day, make me fall in love
Here I am, I am embracing you
Make me love more, 2014
I am embracing you
Embrace me too…

My Soul's Restlessness

   It is literally a long and adventurous journey for me to get here, but its all worth the effort and the risk. Each moment spent with people we have met for three days and some for just couple of hours was equally as important and special as to the moments we have had with people who had been part of our lives for three months, for three years or even for years equivalent to our age. I constantly pray that God will continue to use me and my life to be of help in any way I could and in anywhere possible at any time, despite of my limitations and brokenness. Oh Lord, let my soul's restlessness produce goodness and let love overflow from it so that more beauty can be revealed by and through it...

the habal-habal ride

with the active youth in the community

with Joey

Pipo and Jam preparing the gifts and the goods for distribution

   On my way there, I rode in a habal-habal, with the driver sharing to me his story of how he longed for his wife who never returned after working abroad, and his son whom he was not able to see for the past eight years. He talked about how heavy his heart has been, and how days became a struggle for him. He then told me to pray for him...The ride was bumpy, just like his life.

   On my way there, I saw a child climbing halfway a coconut tree, trying to catch some signal for his cellular phone. I found out from my friend, who had been assigned as a priest in the area, how communication has been so difficult. Sometimes, people pay for the motorcycle to bring their phones in the town to receive messages. On our second night, we experienced climbing towards that spot of the highland where there is signal. There was no electricity that time, but the stars and the fireflies had given us a wonderful view. I was surprised to see several people going there just to text. 2014 is coming very soon, but we still have places in the country where communication system is not accessible.

   But I must say too, that despite all of these curbs, the people there have a good glimpse and experience of life, with all their simplicity, sense of neighborhood and deep spirituality. I thank God for allowing me to immerse into their stories and join them in their celebration even just for a while. I thank God for the kind and generous family who had planned for such activity and really made it happened.

Fr Michael giving the prize for the game

with Joey, Mapeth and Fr. Arvin

During the gift giving

   During those days, I had tried stopping myself from reflecting, but each word, each bumpy road, each embrace of the wind on my face, each line from any song, each story I heard, and each smile I saw from the faces of people who were once strangers to me were naturally taking me to a journey of talking to God to ask for wisdom behind circumstances. And that was how I decided not be afraid of reflecting again, because that is the way I had appreciated the clouds, the tears, the joy, the shadows and mysteries. That is the way I had learned about accepting and giving back gifts with courage and love.

Some more prizes

with Fr. Michael's family

What Yolanda has Done

Roofless but still standing strong

      That 8th of November this year was supposed to be like any other day that came into the lives of Filipinos. For the children I was able to talk with last Friday, it was supposed to be another day of playing in the fields and along the shores and for some, another day of learning at school. But something happened that day that made these children hid under their beds and when their houses got destroyed, made them run as fast as they could to seek solace in the hills, in the houses of the well-off in their community and then in the evacuation centers. There was something not ordinary that day that has made the children tremble with fear, cry hard and then pray on their bended knees. That day typhoon Yolanda came in so fast and then left the country with unimaginable destruction and deaths. That day came and has left these children with awful memories.

The brave children affirming their shared experiences of crying, running and praying...

    I had just no question when 9 year-old Jose told me that he wished that November 8 did not just happened at all and that typhoon Yolanda never hit their place. He described it as something he never thought could happen for real. He recalled how the winds made him felt so helpless and so worried about his parents and siblings who were outside their house. He tried drawing that scenario in his notebook and he shared to the group how the rushing rain and the wind had literally hurt his face. He knew it was so strong because their roof flew away. Now, November 8 will be a day he could not just forget, just like how it is for all the survivors and their loved ones. 

Red, who used to be a guidance counselor, facilitating activity for the youth

 

Misyon's Assistant Editor, Anne telling a story to the toddlers

The children recounting their stories of resiliency and faith

    

       Since that day when Yolanda hit Philippines, we at Misyon office had been reasonably disturbed too. We are in deep sadness. I know I share the same feeling with many people coming from various walks of life across the world. Survivors are still badly in need of assistance for their basic necessities like food, potable water, clothes and medicine, and materials for building their houses. They also needed psychological support so that they can cope with trauma and negative impact of the disaster. Even their spiritual aspect is in need of some consolation because for all the loss that they had incurred, many of them are still in the midst of darkness.

Repacking of goods at Camp Delgado

      It is easier to see the physical effects of Yolanda compared to the emotional scars. We can get possible get estimates of how many will be starting from scratch again in terms of building their houses. While traveling towards Sara and then to Estancia, Iloilo together with the team from the Philippine National Police in Camp Delgado who organized the relief operation, I’ve seen several houses with no roofs yet. I have seen several junk shops filled with scrapped housing materials. I had seen uprooted trees and tilted electric posts. Estancia’s situation was even worsened by the oil spill which we were able to witness with our own eyes. We also passed through temporary housing camp sites for the people and it would take time before things will be back to normal again. A month has passed but I can still sense the sadness in the communities we visited. Part of me is telling that help could never be enough. Typhoon Yolanda has left but the long-term effects will continue to haunt them. With the inconceivable aftermath of the typhoon and the tears and losses you hear and see from television and newspapers, you are moved to do something. You are move to do whatever is it that you can do to help, or at least lessen their hunger, their pains and suffering.

Red teaching me how to make a bracelet on our way to Sara, Iloilo

Traveling towards the northern part of Iloilo

After our lunch at Estancia Municipal Police Station

     That was the story of how me and Misyon’s assistant editor Anne, found our way in that relief operation too. We wanted to do whatever we can to be of help. We were so disturbed that we cannot just sit and watch our neighboring island and I had no doubt that it is God who has been touching us, and our editor Fr Sean Coyle who immediately said yes to us. We are thankful that God had given us that opportunity to use our academic background, our experiences and our passion to be with the survivors even for two days. With that very limited time of helping in the repacking of goods, of hearing the stories of the children, and looking at their artwork, and then seeing the communities and the people, we feel one with them. We hope that with our simple efforts, we were able to bring message of hope and love to them.

      It was not the first time that I participated in a relief operation but it was made so unique to the people and even for me as we were singing Christmas carols. Fr. Ronilo Datu, Regional Chaplain of PNP Region VI, spearheaded the singing and then later on, he enjoined the people. When they sang with us with smiles on their faces, I felt we were producing the best melody ever. It was so special maybe because I know that I heard it from people who will be having a different Christmas this year. They were only beginning to build their houses. They are recovering from their lost means of livelihood such as carabaos and boats. But here they were, clapping their hands and enjoying the music. God is really so amazing. He can make good things happen from bad things, as shared by Fr Ronilo. How could a tragic event such as Yolanda cross all the barriers and borders and revive our brotherhood and sisterhood? How can it lead us back into unity and into love? God can do that.

       Our team did not just go there to bring material goods or simply to talk with them. We came with the hope that God would use us as instruments for them to feel the spirit of Christmas and to affirm their resiliency. On our way home, despite the same view of roofless houses and junk shops filled with dilapidated housing materials, I found myself sensing just a little bit sadness. Optimism overpowered me. I just knew that right that moment, God is continuously reasonably disturbing many young and old hearts all over the world. I just knew that once God touches them, they will just find themselves helping too. Like us, they will go home with not just them reminding the people of God’s love. They will also be reminded of God’s undying and empowering love for them, and that will lead them back to the beauty of cheerfully offering themselves for others.

Singing "Silent Night" and then "Joy to the World" with the people;
The roof of the church is still not furnished but God's presence is undeniably so strong...

Back to my Soul

Credits to Bessie Cordova for the image

    To know people, to enter into their lives and to be engaged on it is a risk. It will take you to countless emotional roller coaster rides and I tell you, it will never be easy. But I had known of people too who are living safely, suspiciously and cautiously. Their hearts are not as wounded as mine. They seldom cry like I do. They have no people whom they push themselves to forget but they have no memories and realizations built with them too. They don’t have moments like what I have now of lifting every drop of pain to God and crawling for another beginning. And they just have no idea of how still strong and loving they can ever be…

Spending my Time

    This song reminds me of how my friends kept on telling me now this: "life will go on, time will make sure will get over you..." I thank God for giving me so many caring and loving people around me. I feel that God speaks to me through them. Through them, I continue to feel how God really loves me and wants the best for me. Today I am celebrating my life, knowing that despite all the pain and tragic closures, I am still alive, and that I am better, and soon things will be falling on their right places.

   I had written many things about our friendship and all the crazy phases we had gone through, using all the words, styles and metaphors I know--- pouring out all the emotions I could ever tell in 53 and then in 91 pages, in my countless posts, in my blog, in my actual life. But reading today his words scribed in a page stirred me in a way so hard to describe and made me internalize all day long, and perhaps forever… Be it told in a word, or with million words, or simply with the eyes, it’s the same message that is piercing my soul. Sooner or later, my Queen Ree fantasies would end, but I know our gratitude, our joy and the maturity gained from our story told either in our separate or joint points of view will always be true and undying. It will always be a wonderful thing...

    I may never understand why God would allow me to experience such wonderful feeling that will never be receive in the way I had been wishing for. I have no doubt though if God hears my cry and sees my death today. He is so amazing ever since and He is the best lover of all. Perhaps, when it comes to this feeling, He had been answering my prayer for so long but I had just been stubborn to accept what’s obvious. Perhaps, I had gotten addicted to my superficial happiness that I had been so used of denying and delaying. Oh God, if pushing me out of this dream would take away all the pain in me and would give peace to the other, then by all means pour out all the treatment directly to my wounds now. Oh God by all means, please get me out of this fantasy world where only me lives…

Photo taken in Potipot Island, Zambales

Rising Again and Resuming the Journey

  I was struck with that line from the article which says: "For this is our life: to rise again continuously and to resume our journey." Life must go on, no matter how hopeless it seems, no matter how painful the present situation is. But in order to really stand up again in the truest sense of the word, we have to free ourselves, or at least start freeing ourselves from the bondages that stop us from experiencing life. 

   Admitting our sins could be embarassing. It could put us into situations wherein we could feel so uncomfortable. We might experience all the trembling and uneasiness, and sometimes we get very unfavorable and hurting responses. But so what? As mentioned above, 'it is better to be red once than yellow a thousand times." If that would give you and the other peace and new beginning, then its worth the risk. By all means, go and admit your mistakes, and don't just end there. 

    Forgiving is such a challenge. Our usual tendencies are to make the phase so instant and abrupt by cutting the ties, burning the bridges and pretending that we are really set to move on. Of course, that would be better compared to staying in the same darkness but if we desire for liberation and joy, we have to be courageous and patient enough to go through the process. We have to try to trust to the intention of each other, find that humility to accept our frailties, and then really pray for strength and grace from God. 

     For me, accepting that we have done wrong is only a start. It does not give justice yet. We should be willing and ready to do acts of reparation too. We could not just say the word 'sorry' and leave the person still hurting. If we do that we could fool the world that we already have our conscience clean, but deep inside, we cannot be at peace. Sometimes, we could hate ourselves when we know that we have been causing pain to the other. But we cannot just find consolation from the feeling of being guilty forever. It is not helping you or the other party. It will only make you torture yourself and that could make the other person suffer too. Indeed, Pope Francis is right. Repentance, justice and peace go together. And I think too, that we can attain them possibly if we truly love, as God never tires of forgiving us because He completely loves us.  

taken at White Beach, Puerto Galera

A Reflection about 'A Thousand Stories in his Eyes'

    Reading this 2010 Hideaway article reminds me of a question asked to me before about analyzing the street children phenomenon. That was really tough to explain. I know I was not being asked to just look at the statistics or reports. I know and feel that to better understand their situation, I have to hear their stories too. And yes, their eyes have much stories to tell, and its not easy looking at them straight to the eyes...

     One of my first actual experiences as a young social worker is with street children. By theory and even in the practical sense, it is true that intervention with them (not just for them) should be sustainable and empowering. We can identify immediate causes or factors which have to do with the children and family; underlying causes or factors which have to do with the community; and the root causes or factors which have to do with the society as causes in the growth of street children. Immediate causes are poor and large families unemployed/underemployed parents, irresponsible parents, family values which are materialistic/consumerist, family conflict, family environment, vices of parents, degradation of morals, violent upbringing by parents and lack of knowledge and parenting skills.

     Widening our lens we can also see that meanwhile, the underlying causes are ineffective access to basic services, non-availability of adequate employment opportunities, inequitable distribution of resources and opportunity in the community like land ownership, nature and conditions of work/employment: formal and informal sectors, congestion in slum areas, inadequate housing/poor housing facilities, poor law enforcement/exploitation by law enforcers, only one style of delivery of education exists, deterioration of values and central body provides no/few activities for children. The root causes are the economic, political and ideological superstructure, the structural roots of poverty and underdevelopment and the unequal world order and the debt burden.

     We need more of this kind of exercise in looking at the issues we have in our society, and having the necessary communication skills and being equipped with the right medium will help us a lot. Minimizing the negative effects of globalization can come if all of us will take part in the advocacy of being more conscious creatures. One thing that had changed as a result of globalization is the quality of the communication that we have and the kind of relationship that we have developed. We want everything to be instant. It is sad reality that many had become less sensitive to the feelings of others and we care more of our own development.

    Communication should be used as a tool of empowering each other, of building the confidence and self-respect and dignity of one another, of promoting authentic relationships, brotherhood and sisterhood and true familial atmosphere. We should take time to talk to one another face to face and not just be contented with machines or gadgets. We should be connected to our soul, and give more time in listening to our innermost feelings, as well as the feelings of others. And of course, that includes giving time to interact with other people like with the children. We should listen to their stories. We should help them find the beauty in having wonderful and productive conversations. We should give them beautiful childhood memories and even until they grow. In my point of view, I know that every act of kindness and care we extend to these children will have a long way to go. We may not realize it but who knows our help to them is the same, or only example they have of hope and love? A fish that we have given them may inspire them to learn fishing. Why not try? It's worth the risk. In the same way, we should do the same to our own selves as well and to others. When many forces around us have been changing the world, making it appear smaller and faster, we should level up the kind of communication that we have too, making it more developmental, inspiring, transformative, peace-promoting and meaningful. We should go beyond what we hear, or what we can ask. We should learn how to discover stories from their eyes too...

There Shall Be

Now all that I should do is to celebrate
And be better and happier
What’s been done has been done
I should face the now
Accept that we all commit mistakes
This is how it is
And I’d rather chose an imperfect world
That is real
Rather than a perfect space
That is unreal.
It’s alright now
Face the world
Run a race
Compose a song
Write more until tears dry up
Don’t escape, this is the present: this is the time to live.
Don’t dwell in the past,
Don’t be anxious of the future.
Forgive yourself
Remember you should be alright now.
Achieve your dreams…
You’ve gotten friends
You have yourself
You have God
You are strong
You are fine
Look at the moon, then the shining sky
And be pacified
Because after 64 days
There shall be many more days
With him or without him

There shall be...

My Papa, my Greatest Glory

     In my father’s some moments of depression and then enlightenment too, before he died, I could still recall how he disclosed some of his regrets and frustrations. In my young mind that time, I was able to catch insights which have never left me since then. He shared about how tired he was of being angry with others often and if he would do it again, he will practice more of forgiveness. He spoke about how death could come as a challenge but at the same time opportunity to express love. In my heart, I know it was his deep way of telling me that the most fulfilling life is that of a life lived in showing kindness and love to others, regardless of such kindness and love being returned to you or not. And then I heard him said those words that stayed not just in the surface of my being but even to the core of my soul--- he called me his greatest glory. 

       That was him. When he seemed to lose all the raptures of living, he would only thought about us and he is back to life. All things would suddenly become bearable for him. I miss him and I remember him everyday even its not November 1 or 2, or his birthday, or my birthday which he would really celebrate with all he could ever give, or his death anniversary. I remember him not because of my nickname which is very far from my real name or because he used to bring me to and fetch me from school and carry me when I’m already complaining of walking. I miss him and I remember him in every way I know about him, had felt because of him and has been now because of him. 

       And when flowers, candles, food and prayers are offered today for all the departed souls like his ever-living-soul, I am offering my life and how I am living it and will live it in kindness, forgiveness and love for and with my papa, my greatest glory too…

A Throwback-Themed Birthday Greeting

Let me throwback images though it’s not a Thursday
For a beautiful and loving woman named Melly
And in the midst of all the greetings and gifts
For one of world’s best mom, that is her
May this, no matter how simple, in a way would show
How blessed and grateful I had been
For having met someone as wonderful as she is
And for the few moments that we had shared
In the Earth blanketed by oceans and sands,
Filled with marvelous views and soothing wine.

Let me throwback with these pictures the learning as well
Because since the day our lives had intertwined
I had known of faith and courage by example
And that was how a great teacher taught me beyond books
In the balance of laughter and serious tones
And over coffee conversations.

Oh, how I wish I could throw back too
The brand of care she had given...

But for now, with this that I have,
I’m sending my heart with my tightest hug, my love and my prayers
And let that heart of mine run across the miles
To look for that beautiful and loving woman named Melly
In a throwing back of lessons and memories on a Saturday.

My Little Angels

Marco Polo Care Center Children, Virlanie Foundation Inc.
Passage Camp: Art and Sports Therapy Project
January 28- February 11, 2013
White Beach, Puerto Galera, Oriental Mindoro

You are my angels,

I love hearing your innocent voices…

I love putting you into sleep in your beds,

And then waking up, wondering how you reached my bed

Hugging me all over,

And then seeing your eyes still closed

Letting you just stay beside me.

But I love you more as you are

And I might get mad at times,

Or talk to you as loud as I could---

Yet know that I've done that because I want to guide you

And I want all the best for you.

My little angels

I may had taught you about this, and that,

But you've actually taught me more…

You all have taught me what hope really is,

And you are teaching me more about life,

You are teaching me all about love. 

Finding New Life

Photo Lay-out by Bro. Jr
Davao;Tagum;New Corella; Compostela Valley;Agusan del Sur;and Surigao del Sur Trip
April 26- May 1, 2012

   There is thrill in life because there is movement on it. But such thrill is not automatically brought about by the movement that comes along the advancement of dates, the natural changes within our body and the environment and the turning of once-new-things into old. The so-called thrill would only come if we will allow our movements to take us somewhere we have never been, out of our comfort zone, and then render some piece of sacrifice for the name of fun, for the sake of finding that thrill. I know from that moment I decided to take a leave and book ticket going to Davao with my friends ate Manay and Via, ‘thrill’ is what I’m going to find. But I was wrong--- not because I did not found one but because I found more than the thrill I was looking for.

     The first thing I learned, which I think my friends did too, was patience. Imagine, having to wait for four hours because the flight was delayed. For travelers, four hours meant four hours adjustments in the schedule. It meant four hours deduction from the actual time we should be in our much-wanted-to-see-destination. It meant Bro Gilbert has to wait longer than what we intended. But we are taught to learn how to wait on the other hand. It meant more time to prepare ourselves for a different routine that moment…time to realize that sometimes we just needed something to read…time to realize that there are still many things beyond our control.

Here’s another thing to learn: fellowship. While growing up, I get to discover many things about myself by being alone. I get to find inner peace and gain profounder insights which I still do until today. But the moment we had developed a stronger connection with the Amigonian Brothers and Fathers community in Cavite, I was really amazed with the kind of bond they have, how they would get so excited with the presence of each one and even though they had spent most of their time with each other in the seminary, they are still sharing their vacation with each other. Truly, it was nothing more but a family. But it doesn’t end among them! It extends even to their families. There’s a ‘feel of being at home’ wherever we go, from the house of Bro Dareen, to that of Bro Joselito, Bro Gilbert and Bro Stephen!

     Now, it’s time to have that thrill. Being fondly called by the brothers as ‘Dora’ (the Explorer), I just couldn’t find words to describe how eager I am to say ‘yes’ to their invitation for us to go to their ‘places.’ That April 28 (since we arrived in Davao at 12:08 midnight) until early morning of May 2 adventures were truly something we could never forget. We just love the food anywhere we go and we truly enjoyed the live music during the Thanksgiving party of bro Dareen, kuya July and Gift Anne. We are overwhelmed with the warm accommodation. There were so many “first time’s” like first time to taste Lamaw (coconut strips and juice with milk and to our surprise- a bottle of Royal softdrink and slices of biscuits!), first time to use several types of vehicles in just 5 days (salamat Clarion family), first time to meet Lolong in Agusan del Sur and many more! And yes, we definitely want second time and more!

      The sight of Enchanted River in Hinatuan, Surigao del Sur was just so inviting I couldn’t help but regret of not knowing how to swim! But what makes it more enchanting as its name suggests is the view of the school of fish enjoying their blue-colored 85 feet deep home (85 feet nga ba yun?). The golden sand in Margarett Island Peak Resort was so irresistible that we don’t mind lying down and get some sleep. How can we ever forget the few minutes climb to witness another breath-taking view of the sea (or was it already part of the Pacific Ocean?)? How can we forget the wonderful ride itself going to and going back to our destination?

      But there’s still more to learn in that trip. God’s plans for us lead us to a place I will always remember until my last breath: in Panas Inland Resort. I don’t like to talk about the specifics anymore as I am now remembering the experience in a different way. All I know is that it was in that almost half an hour experience with my friends that I realized that I just don’t have any idea of what stage of my life I am living now. Have I lived the 50% of it or just the beginning? Or have I already lived the length of time I’m allowed to consume? Truly, it was not just a battle against the current of water. It was a battle to win a new life- and we won because we did not do it alone.

    There’s love, care, heroism, sacrifice, courage, brotherhood and sisterhood, concern, optimism, hope---all rolled into one, that no amount of transition from once calm flow of water into a threatening flood can ever broke us. Yes, we were afraid (it was a kind of fear that I forgot when was the last time I felt such), we were terrified, we were troubled, we were worried, but we were not broken. And so we thank our heroes so much (you all know who you are), you were our life-savers no matter where they were that time, whether they make it to the edge (bro Joselito, bro Jay-ar, bro Frank, bro Jun Tabby and the rest I couldn’t mention anymore), whether they did their best looking for ropes, wood, or even a banner in a bamboo stick (like that of bro Mars, hahaha), or whether they are comforting from afar, people we know before, people we just knew from that vacation, people we do not even know who helped in actions and in prayers! And it was not just about the rescue, because even after it, we were being comforted. How can we ever thank you! We are all victorious in gaining new life as what Tito Joy reflected right after the incident (what an optimistic man)! God is really so good!

        As I was freely pouring out everything in this work which would serve as an account of a life-changing experience, then I just felt that I should courageously admit that there was this person who motivated me to write this (motivation doesn’t mean, he told me to write this because he absolutely did not, but motivation in the sense that many of his acts, though could be just natural for him, yet for me and my friends, were acts we would always be amazed of, acts which have set the ‘standards’ of what does it mean to be the host, acts that our hearts would always remember. So in the truest practice of being courageous, I admit that I was writing this too with him in mind. As ate Manay, Via and me would use to share among each other, we would always wish to find so many other “brother Dareen’s” in the world, so many other who would like him, go beyond the bounds of hospitality by giving and giving more, who did not even hesitated to offer to us their cozy homes in Monkayo (yup, homes!), who waited until pass three AM thereby letting go of the should-have-been-much-needed-sleep just to welcome us, who despite having so many other guests he too, was not able to see for quite a long time, would still religiously come to us to check if we are still doing great or if we need something, who  eagerly taught us how to use their sophisticated mop, and who made us feel that our presence was valued. On a personal note, I thank him for every meaningful discussions we had (from simple topics like what does this symbol of less than three means to mind-challenging ones like the life of Hitler, and to soul-breaking realities of violence, poverty and injustice). I tell you, I am still in the process of realizing that such simple conversations do make sense! I thank him for being appreciative and affirming, caring and sincere. Yet above them all, you bro Dareen, made us realize that this old adage is true: “Friendship is not how long you’ve been together.” Though we had known each other for not that long, thanks for treating us like we’re old friends and we pray, that just like most friendships that were created and tested in this world, ours and that of the brothers will remain steadfast and grow stronger and stronger too in the years to come.

     Then, we headed to another place: in Matin-ao in New Corella where we spent the remaining hours of our stay until we travelled back to Manila again. And I would like to end this blog hanging like this, because I know, there will be a part two of this very soon, right? Truly, we found more than thrill—we found lessons, we found values, we found deeper meaning of love and fun, we found new life...

A boat ride away from Enchanted River is the Margarett Island Peak Resort, one of the must-see attraction in Surigao del Sur.                          

Fr Michael Sinnott: A Valentine with Faith

(Originally posted in http://www.misyononline.com/new/may-jun2010/Fr-Michael-Sinnott)

It was the afternoon of February 14. I was sitting down, asking questions, taking down some notes and listening in the best way I could. There was no calm music to create a meditative mood but I was moved. I was reasonably disturbed. As he recalled what took place from October 11 until November 12 last year, he carried me to the forest where he spent many nights. He brought me to the mountains he had hiked and to the seas he had crossed. How come I'm hearing the story of his 32-day rough experience yet I can't find bitterness in his eyes? He must be a very good man.

I looked at him again and saw him smile. Now I know why. I was interviewing a great person who had united many people praying for his safe release and their prayers were answered. I was face to face with the 80-year old Irish Columban priest, Father Michael Sinnott, who made me realize what faith, love and forgiveness mean.

I started by asking him what had happened while he was in captivity. He told me how four men, one holding a gun, had forcefully taken him away from the Columban house in Pagadian City. Then he continued sharing about their daily routine, how often they transferred while he lay down covered on the floor of the boat, how many times they had to set up their hammocks again and again, how he lost weight and how he survived. That was how he taught me faith.

'I was confident that they would not do me any harm. I had no medicine and so I thought of my health. There was also a possibility that the military would try to release me by force and it was difficult to see how in that case I could escape unharmed. But I never doubted God's protection. I knew that he would answer my prayers. He would answer our prayers,' said Father Sinnott.

'During those testing moments, days and nights seemed to be longer than usual. You had to look for something to do aside from being keen to the signals and sounds around. You had to keep yourself optimistic that the next view of a mountain would be something that could give hope and not just another mountain to be climb. However, it would be a bit different for persons who loved to do that kind of thing - climb mountains and so on - and are used to it', the priest added.

For Father Sinnott, those long days and nights never shook his faith. He never got tired of saying his personal prayers and finishing the twenty decades of the rosary day after day. It was only his physical body that they had captured, not his heart, not his soul.

There is another story about one of his captors, called 'Kikay', who was always with him and slept in a hammock right alongside him but was good to him. The first day after he was captured, his captors interrogated him and went through his pockets and took everything from him except his Rosary beads and his watch. Kikay said that he could have easily taken the watch except he would not do it without Father Sinnott's permission. After a few days they made an agreement that the day Kikay brought him to freedom Father would give him the watch. As Father Sinnott was about to be freed when they had almost arrived at the seashore Kikay, who was alongside him, put his hand under the tarpaulin which was covering him, snatched his watch, and then pushed him out of the boat into the shallow water. Father Sinnott said that it was fine with him but he would have been happier to personally give it to him as a sign of his appreciation for his kindness and shake hands with him before they parted. He believes that there was goodness in that man waiting to be unleashed. He had let that man and his companions feel unconditional love. Little did I know that I was also being taught what love is.

I began wondering who Father Sinnott was before the kidnapping happened. Why did he choose to be a missionary priest? What I discovered was an interesting story. He closed his eyes for a while, and then continued, 'I felt God was calling me. It started when I was in high school. A missionary priest came to our class as part of a vocation promotion. According to him, there were three things needed to be accepted. You must be of good moral character; you must have average intelligence and good health. Two years later I applied to the Columbans and was accepted.'

It has been 55 years ago since his ordination as a priest in 1954. It was not an easy life and many times he had to carry the crosses of others. It was a life of sacrifice, service and ministry but more than anything else, it was a life of meaning and fullness. Father Sinnott made me realize this when he said, 'I'm very happy and fulfilled as I priest. I never regret that I chose to respond to God's call and I encourage the youth to seriously think about what they are called to do.'

This is another lesson about love. Now, Father Sinnott is back doing what he had dedicated himself to do. He did not extend his Christmas vacation in Ireland nor ask to be transferred to another place. Instead, he is very willing to offer himself again. He continues to be with Hangop Kabataan which is a center he established for children with disabilities in Pagadian City. He continues to help Filipinos in addressing their economic and spiritual concerns. He continues to touch their lives.

I was just sitting down but I traveled a long way. My thoughts, my spirit, my heart . . . they were all moved positively and I'll always thank Fr Seán Coyle, the editor of Misyon, for setting up this interview. I'll always thank Father Sinnott for inspiring me and for teaching me about some of the greatest forces in our life: faith and love.

But here's the third lesson Father Sinnott also taught me: forgiveness. He has forgiven his captors and he hasn't held bad feelings towards them ever since. I asked what he would do if he saw his captors again. What he said struck me, 'I will thank them for being good to me. But I hope I will not meet them in a kidnapping situation'. I agreed with him and we both laughed.

You may contact Richelle at rich_verde706@yahoo.com.ph

___________

Comment from Rodefox:

Submitted by Misyon Guest on Mon, 05/03/2010 - 05:35.

yes, I agree...I have read all details in the articles and it also touch my heart and it made me reconcile,,,in my human nature I sometimes doubt God's love and protection cause I've experience great circumtance in my whole life but God always seems to understand why I responded this way...He is a JUST God...may you always made people inspire through your many articles to publish...