As I took another eight-hour trip back home from Cebu, I realized that I had momentarily lost my sense of time. I was so engaged with what I was I doing: reflecting. It was something I have to do to finish my thesis about the journey of the former beneficiaries of Holy Family Home-Bacolod, though reflecting has become a part of my life. It is something that sounds so simple yet had been giving me difficult and painful moments.In some parts of the process, I found myself praying, sleeping, thinking, crying and then laughing. It was emotions felt on the extreme poles.I thought it was an escape but a deeper thought of it made me realize that I am not escaping, but rather embracing the here and the now. The journey has taken me to a different world: a world which has made me become more aware of my reality and the realities of the people I have met along the way.
I tried to look for a calendar, but I failed to find one. My phone’s battery was empty. I looked all around me but all I see was tall trees in a zigzag road. I was hungry and it seemed that all I have was only me. It was dark outside but I felt a sense of security because the bus was continuously moving. That was so me: someone who is so afraid to remain stagnant, someone who always want to keep going and someone who is always so enthusiastic to throw myself in somewhere different or new. It was the kind of me that made me feel tired at times, but it was the same kind of me that made me know many people and places beyond faces, beyond names, beyond one period of time.
That was a journey of going back to my soul. Subsequently, the journey of going through myself has taught me an important realization about who I am. I am not all like what I had taught to be I was. Removing another mask, there is also another me who can find consolation and freedom from being in solitary and still moments. Taking away what I have and who I think I am, I am still a child of God. God’s power is behind my growth and anything and everything in me and about me. There is a part of me who just continuously bloom though I remain in the same space. There is a part of me who can brave visiting the past in order to appreciate the present and then discover the so many possibilities of the future.
This phenomenological process has a transformative effect to me. It is not all the time that we can hear such true stories of moving forward despite all the heartaches and brokenness. The narratives I had gathered and reflected upon are immortal. These narratives are source of inspiration and learning. These are our testimonies of courage, faith, hope and love. Our journey is a journey of blessing and empowering one another.It is a journey worth taking and worth telling in words and even in dreams. Our journey is a journey of risks and responsibilities, resonating common themes yet uniquely woven by the hands of our Maker Himself. These are journeys worth reflecting for.
I tried to look for a calendar, but I failed to find one. My phone’s battery was empty. I looked all around me but all I see was tall trees in a zigzag road. I was hungry and it seemed that all I have was only me. It was dark outside but I felt a sense of security because the bus was continuously moving. That was so me: someone who is so afraid to remain stagnant, someone who always want to keep going and someone who is always so enthusiastic to throw myself in somewhere different or new. It was the kind of me that made me feel tired at times, but it was the same kind of me that made me know many people and places beyond faces, beyond names, beyond one period of time.
That was a journey of going back to my soul. Subsequently, the journey of going through myself has taught me an important realization about who I am. I am not all like what I had taught to be I was. Removing another mask, there is also another me who can find consolation and freedom from being in solitary and still moments. Taking away what I have and who I think I am, I am still a child of God. God’s power is behind my growth and anything and everything in me and about me. There is a part of me who just continuously bloom though I remain in the same space. There is a part of me who can brave visiting the past in order to appreciate the present and then discover the so many possibilities of the future.
This phenomenological process has a transformative effect to me. It is not all the time that we can hear such true stories of moving forward despite all the heartaches and brokenness. The narratives I had gathered and reflected upon are immortal. These narratives are source of inspiration and learning. These are our testimonies of courage, faith, hope and love. Our journey is a journey of blessing and empowering one another.It is a journey worth taking and worth telling in words and even in dreams. Our journey is a journey of risks and responsibilities, resonating common themes yet uniquely woven by the hands of our Maker Himself. These are journeys worth reflecting for.
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| Photo by: Rose Victoria |
We may lose the exact name of time or seasons in our journey, just like what happened to me now; or chose to leave behind some aspects of it but we will never totally forget the memories and the learning. Our set of individual, collective and intertwining journeys are meant to make us more human. They are meant to change us for the better and so we are all resolved to continue journeying knowing that there are always something new to learn, unlearn or relearn and mask, unmask or re-mask each time. We will continue to audaciously grow from our sorrows and joy. We will move, run, sit, crawl, and kneel if we have too. We will love. We will live. We will not give up.
St Teresa of Avila, despite being a contemplative, and St John of the Cross who worked with her to reform the Carmelite Order, both spent a lot of time traveling. not in buses, but walking and maybe riding a donkey. And they reflected and prayed not only in the monastery or friary but on the road. St Columban was another contemplative who, like many Irish monks in the 6th to 8th centuries or thereabouts, answered God's call to be 'Pilgrims/Travelers/Wanderers/Exiles for Christ'. Tourists can travel and not really learn anything whereas Pilgrims, those who see life as a journey towards God even if they do little actual physical traveling, can be learning all the time, seeing God's presence in those they meet and in what they see and experience. 'Peregrinari pro Christo', 'To be a pilgrim for Christ' - a guiding motto for St Columban and many of his Irish contemporaries.
ReplyDeleteYes, life is a journey towards God, with Him and always with Him, towards Him, only towards Him...
DeleteThank you for your insights Father Sean and thank you for reading my blog posts. Thank you for sharing to me the lives of our Saints, and for even inspiring me to be more mindful of God's presence in each and every step I take. May all those who journey with me also find God's guidance and love...