My Soul's Restlessness

   It is literally a long and adventurous journey for me to get here, but its all worth the effort and the risk. Each moment spent with people we have met for three days and some for just couple of hours was equally as important and special as to the moments we have had with people who had been part of our lives for three months, for three years or even for years equivalent to our age. I constantly pray that God will continue to use me and my life to be of help in any way I could and in anywhere possible at any time, despite of my limitations and brokenness. Oh Lord, let my soul's restlessness produce goodness and let love overflow from it so that more beauty can be revealed by and through it...

the habal-habal ride

with the active youth in the community

with Joey

Pipo and Jam preparing the gifts and the goods for distribution

   On my way there, I rode in a habal-habal, with the driver sharing to me his story of how he longed for his wife who never returned after working abroad, and his son whom he was not able to see for the past eight years. He talked about how heavy his heart has been, and how days became a struggle for him. He then told me to pray for him...The ride was bumpy, just like his life.

   On my way there, I saw a child climbing halfway a coconut tree, trying to catch some signal for his cellular phone. I found out from my friend, who had been assigned as a priest in the area, how communication has been so difficult. Sometimes, people pay for the motorcycle to bring their phones in the town to receive messages. On our second night, we experienced climbing towards that spot of the highland where there is signal. There was no electricity that time, but the stars and the fireflies had given us a wonderful view. I was surprised to see several people going there just to text. 2014 is coming very soon, but we still have places in the country where communication system is not accessible.

   But I must say too, that despite all of these curbs, the people there have a good glimpse and experience of life, with all their simplicity, sense of neighborhood and deep spirituality. I thank God for allowing me to immerse into their stories and join them in their celebration even just for a while. I thank God for the kind and generous family who had planned for such activity and really made it happened.

Fr Michael giving the prize for the game

with Joey, Mapeth and Fr. Arvin

During the gift giving

   During those days, I had tried stopping myself from reflecting, but each word, each bumpy road, each embrace of the wind on my face, each line from any song, each story I heard, and each smile I saw from the faces of people who were once strangers to me were naturally taking me to a journey of talking to God to ask for wisdom behind circumstances. And that was how I decided not be afraid of reflecting again, because that is the way I had appreciated the clouds, the tears, the joy, the shadows and mysteries. That is the way I had learned about accepting and giving back gifts with courage and love.

Some more prizes

with Fr. Michael's family

What Yolanda has Done

Roofless but still standing strong

      That 8th of November this year was supposed to be like any other day that came into the lives of Filipinos. For the children I was able to talk with last Friday, it was supposed to be another day of playing in the fields and along the shores and for some, another day of learning at school. But something happened that day that made these children hid under their beds and when their houses got destroyed, made them run as fast as they could to seek solace in the hills, in the houses of the well-off in their community and then in the evacuation centers. There was something not ordinary that day that has made the children tremble with fear, cry hard and then pray on their bended knees. That day typhoon Yolanda came in so fast and then left the country with unimaginable destruction and deaths. That day came and has left these children with awful memories.

The brave children affirming their shared experiences of crying, running and praying...

    I had just no question when 9 year-old Jose told me that he wished that November 8 did not just happened at all and that typhoon Yolanda never hit their place. He described it as something he never thought could happen for real. He recalled how the winds made him felt so helpless and so worried about his parents and siblings who were outside their house. He tried drawing that scenario in his notebook and he shared to the group how the rushing rain and the wind had literally hurt his face. He knew it was so strong because their roof flew away. Now, November 8 will be a day he could not just forget, just like how it is for all the survivors and their loved ones. 

Red, who used to be a guidance counselor, facilitating activity for the youth

 

Misyon's Assistant Editor, Anne telling a story to the toddlers

The children recounting their stories of resiliency and faith

    

       Since that day when Yolanda hit Philippines, we at Misyon office had been reasonably disturbed too. We are in deep sadness. I know I share the same feeling with many people coming from various walks of life across the world. Survivors are still badly in need of assistance for their basic necessities like food, potable water, clothes and medicine, and materials for building their houses. They also needed psychological support so that they can cope with trauma and negative impact of the disaster. Even their spiritual aspect is in need of some consolation because for all the loss that they had incurred, many of them are still in the midst of darkness.

Repacking of goods at Camp Delgado

      It is easier to see the physical effects of Yolanda compared to the emotional scars. We can get possible get estimates of how many will be starting from scratch again in terms of building their houses. While traveling towards Sara and then to Estancia, Iloilo together with the team from the Philippine National Police in Camp Delgado who organized the relief operation, I’ve seen several houses with no roofs yet. I have seen several junk shops filled with scrapped housing materials. I had seen uprooted trees and tilted electric posts. Estancia’s situation was even worsened by the oil spill which we were able to witness with our own eyes. We also passed through temporary housing camp sites for the people and it would take time before things will be back to normal again. A month has passed but I can still sense the sadness in the communities we visited. Part of me is telling that help could never be enough. Typhoon Yolanda has left but the long-term effects will continue to haunt them. With the inconceivable aftermath of the typhoon and the tears and losses you hear and see from television and newspapers, you are moved to do something. You are move to do whatever is it that you can do to help, or at least lessen their hunger, their pains and suffering.

Red teaching me how to make a bracelet on our way to Sara, Iloilo

Traveling towards the northern part of Iloilo

After our lunch at Estancia Municipal Police Station

     That was the story of how me and Misyon’s assistant editor Anne, found our way in that relief operation too. We wanted to do whatever we can to be of help. We were so disturbed that we cannot just sit and watch our neighboring island and I had no doubt that it is God who has been touching us, and our editor Fr Sean Coyle who immediately said yes to us. We are thankful that God had given us that opportunity to use our academic background, our experiences and our passion to be with the survivors even for two days. With that very limited time of helping in the repacking of goods, of hearing the stories of the children, and looking at their artwork, and then seeing the communities and the people, we feel one with them. We hope that with our simple efforts, we were able to bring message of hope and love to them.

      It was not the first time that I participated in a relief operation but it was made so unique to the people and even for me as we were singing Christmas carols. Fr. Ronilo Datu, Regional Chaplain of PNP Region VI, spearheaded the singing and then later on, he enjoined the people. When they sang with us with smiles on their faces, I felt we were producing the best melody ever. It was so special maybe because I know that I heard it from people who will be having a different Christmas this year. They were only beginning to build their houses. They are recovering from their lost means of livelihood such as carabaos and boats. But here they were, clapping their hands and enjoying the music. God is really so amazing. He can make good things happen from bad things, as shared by Fr Ronilo. How could a tragic event such as Yolanda cross all the barriers and borders and revive our brotherhood and sisterhood? How can it lead us back into unity and into love? God can do that.

       Our team did not just go there to bring material goods or simply to talk with them. We came with the hope that God would use us as instruments for them to feel the spirit of Christmas and to affirm their resiliency. On our way home, despite the same view of roofless houses and junk shops filled with dilapidated housing materials, I found myself sensing just a little bit sadness. Optimism overpowered me. I just knew that right that moment, God is continuously reasonably disturbing many young and old hearts all over the world. I just knew that once God touches them, they will just find themselves helping too. Like us, they will go home with not just them reminding the people of God’s love. They will also be reminded of God’s undying and empowering love for them, and that will lead them back to the beauty of cheerfully offering themselves for others.

Singing "Silent Night" and then "Joy to the World" with the people;
The roof of the church is still not furnished but God's presence is undeniably so strong...

Back to my Soul

Credits to Bessie Cordova for the image

    To know people, to enter into their lives and to be engaged on it is a risk. It will take you to countless emotional roller coaster rides and I tell you, it will never be easy. But I had known of people too who are living safely, suspiciously and cautiously. Their hearts are not as wounded as mine. They seldom cry like I do. They have no people whom they push themselves to forget but they have no memories and realizations built with them too. They don’t have moments like what I have now of lifting every drop of pain to God and crawling for another beginning. And they just have no idea of how still strong and loving they can ever be…

Spending my Time

    This song reminds me of how my friends kept on telling me now this: "life will go on, time will make sure will get over you..." I thank God for giving me so many caring and loving people around me. I feel that God speaks to me through them. Through them, I continue to feel how God really loves me and wants the best for me. Today I am celebrating my life, knowing that despite all the pain and tragic closures, I am still alive, and that I am better, and soon things will be falling on their right places.

   I had written many things about our friendship and all the crazy phases we had gone through, using all the words, styles and metaphors I know--- pouring out all the emotions I could ever tell in 53 and then in 91 pages, in my countless posts, in my blog, in my actual life. But reading today his words scribed in a page stirred me in a way so hard to describe and made me internalize all day long, and perhaps forever… Be it told in a word, or with million words, or simply with the eyes, it’s the same message that is piercing my soul. Sooner or later, my Queen Ree fantasies would end, but I know our gratitude, our joy and the maturity gained from our story told either in our separate or joint points of view will always be true and undying. It will always be a wonderful thing...

    I may never understand why God would allow me to experience such wonderful feeling that will never be receive in the way I had been wishing for. I have no doubt though if God hears my cry and sees my death today. He is so amazing ever since and He is the best lover of all. Perhaps, when it comes to this feeling, He had been answering my prayer for so long but I had just been stubborn to accept what’s obvious. Perhaps, I had gotten addicted to my superficial happiness that I had been so used of denying and delaying. Oh God, if pushing me out of this dream would take away all the pain in me and would give peace to the other, then by all means pour out all the treatment directly to my wounds now. Oh God by all means, please get me out of this fantasy world where only me lives…

Photo taken in Potipot Island, Zambales

I Won't Chase You Now

My used-to-be-soul-mate…
I won’t chase you now,
You are free to run,
You are free to go
I will forget you as you wish
After I died thrice.

Forgive me for liking you that much
For missing you so,
For being pathetic.
For thinking of you
In ordinary days
And during Holidays
And yes,
Everyday to be exact…

You said you never wanted to see me hurt
Oh I guess, your eyes were closed when I cried..
How can you be deaf and blind to my plea
When you had already tamed me?

I never thought our friendship to be this fragile
I never thought you would just turn your back
And be that tired and unforgiving
Despite all my begging...

And now you just don't believe in words
And I don't know how can you believe 'sorry' and 'love'
If you seek for meaning all the time
If there should always be logic behind
If it has always to be smooth and easy, and understandable...

And I can never make you forgive yourself too
I can't even look at you again nor talk with you
Even in memory, I should not think about you
Though I don't know
If that will make me numb or strong...

In each minute I take heavy footsteps
In every tick of the clock with my teardrops
Along with my aching heartbeats
In this even longer days and darker nights 
I vow goodbye to you
I promise,
I won't chase you now
You are free to run
You are free to go...

In time,
I'll find my way
Back to my life
Back to my own soul...
My own forgotten soul...

Over Hills

Now I’m back to my usual life 1382 kilometers away from you,
Suddenly came in me my travel up north last December…
That moment when my throat’s resonator was finally freed
And with resting souls in hanging coffins as my witnesses
I screamed your name over hills…
Hoping you to hear it
Wishing you to listen
But response was none
And Echo Valley brought back my voice to me.
I wondered more of how love could be as desperate
Of how I could be just satisfied
Asking the other to just let me love
And oh, how illogical it is to not expect to be loved
But still continue feeling enormous, unstoppable pain…
A kind of pain that made me run as fast as I could
So that there’ll be a hoax reason for intense heartbeats.
And yeah, I screamed your name beneath the Earth
Spelunking Sagada’s Sumaguing Cave with thoughts of you
With each slippery path the crawling continues
Just like love. Alright, just like love…
That no matter how precarious
Still the spirit is willing to stride
Up and down, the risks endured
Arriving at that awe-feeling--- I survived, or did I survive?
And I recalled the victory in a special way
Glancing at the pictures taken, reminiscing happy and testing moments
Just like love.
Trekking I went and you also followed…
And wondered why my heart is still not exhausted of your memories
How can you do that? To be here though you are not here…
Searching for reasons but couldn’t find
And so I just screamed your name over hills again and again,
And then looked up to heaven and be hopeful
That the next time for love to come
I won’t fall apart
I'll just fly.

The Sumaguing Cave

Rising Again and Resuming the Journey

  I was struck with that line from the article which says: "For this is our life: to rise again continuously and to resume our journey." Life must go on, no matter how hopeless it seems, no matter how painful the present situation is. But in order to really stand up again in the truest sense of the word, we have to free ourselves, or at least start freeing ourselves from the bondages that stop us from experiencing life. 

   Admitting our sins could be embarassing. It could put us into situations wherein we could feel so uncomfortable. We might experience all the trembling and uneasiness, and sometimes we get very unfavorable and hurting responses. But so what? As mentioned above, 'it is better to be red once than yellow a thousand times." If that would give you and the other peace and new beginning, then its worth the risk. By all means, go and admit your mistakes, and don't just end there. 

    Forgiving is such a challenge. Our usual tendencies are to make the phase so instant and abrupt by cutting the ties, burning the bridges and pretending that we are really set to move on. Of course, that would be better compared to staying in the same darkness but if we desire for liberation and joy, we have to be courageous and patient enough to go through the process. We have to try to trust to the intention of each other, find that humility to accept our frailties, and then really pray for strength and grace from God. 

     For me, accepting that we have done wrong is only a start. It does not give justice yet. We should be willing and ready to do acts of reparation too. We could not just say the word 'sorry' and leave the person still hurting. If we do that we could fool the world that we already have our conscience clean, but deep inside, we cannot be at peace. Sometimes, we could hate ourselves when we know that we have been causing pain to the other. But we cannot just find consolation from the feeling of being guilty forever. It is not helping you or the other party. It will only make you torture yourself and that could make the other person suffer too. Indeed, Pope Francis is right. Repentance, justice and peace go together. And I think too, that we can attain them possibly if we truly love, as God never tires of forgiving us because He completely loves us.  

taken at White Beach, Puerto Galera

A Reflection about 'A Thousand Stories in his Eyes'

    Reading this 2010 Hideaway article reminds me of a question asked to me before about analyzing the street children phenomenon. That was really tough to explain. I know I was not being asked to just look at the statistics or reports. I know and feel that to better understand their situation, I have to hear their stories too. And yes, their eyes have much stories to tell, and its not easy looking at them straight to the eyes...

     One of my first actual experiences as a young social worker is with street children. By theory and even in the practical sense, it is true that intervention with them (not just for them) should be sustainable and empowering. We can identify immediate causes or factors which have to do with the children and family; underlying causes or factors which have to do with the community; and the root causes or factors which have to do with the society as causes in the growth of street children. Immediate causes are poor and large families unemployed/underemployed parents, irresponsible parents, family values which are materialistic/consumerist, family conflict, family environment, vices of parents, degradation of morals, violent upbringing by parents and lack of knowledge and parenting skills.

     Widening our lens we can also see that meanwhile, the underlying causes are ineffective access to basic services, non-availability of adequate employment opportunities, inequitable distribution of resources and opportunity in the community like land ownership, nature and conditions of work/employment: formal and informal sectors, congestion in slum areas, inadequate housing/poor housing facilities, poor law enforcement/exploitation by law enforcers, only one style of delivery of education exists, deterioration of values and central body provides no/few activities for children. The root causes are the economic, political and ideological superstructure, the structural roots of poverty and underdevelopment and the unequal world order and the debt burden.

     We need more of this kind of exercise in looking at the issues we have in our society, and having the necessary communication skills and being equipped with the right medium will help us a lot. Minimizing the negative effects of globalization can come if all of us will take part in the advocacy of being more conscious creatures. One thing that had changed as a result of globalization is the quality of the communication that we have and the kind of relationship that we have developed. We want everything to be instant. It is sad reality that many had become less sensitive to the feelings of others and we care more of our own development.

    Communication should be used as a tool of empowering each other, of building the confidence and self-respect and dignity of one another, of promoting authentic relationships, brotherhood and sisterhood and true familial atmosphere. We should take time to talk to one another face to face and not just be contented with machines or gadgets. We should be connected to our soul, and give more time in listening to our innermost feelings, as well as the feelings of others. And of course, that includes giving time to interact with other people like with the children. We should listen to their stories. We should help them find the beauty in having wonderful and productive conversations. We should give them beautiful childhood memories and even until they grow. In my point of view, I know that every act of kindness and care we extend to these children will have a long way to go. We may not realize it but who knows our help to them is the same, or only example they have of hope and love? A fish that we have given them may inspire them to learn fishing. Why not try? It's worth the risk. In the same way, we should do the same to our own selves as well and to others. When many forces around us have been changing the world, making it appear smaller and faster, we should level up the kind of communication that we have too, making it more developmental, inspiring, transformative, peace-promoting and meaningful. We should go beyond what we hear, or what we can ask. We should learn how to discover stories from their eyes too...

When I Think of You

The dead star becomes the brightest
Fantasies turning tangible and endless
My soul smiles, there are flowers all around
When I think of you...

It’s another December
And I hadn’t forgotten you
Your joy is my joy
Your pain hurts me even more
Don’t you know I get to feel the other half of me
When I think of you?

Cause when I think of you, thinking becomes not a burden, never…
Yeah, when I think of you, I want to go on thinking forever and ever.

One Day

One day, I will not remember you anymore
One day, I will cease bugging you
One day, your thoughts and actions won’t interest me
One day, I would just forget what the word miss means
One day, I won’t wish again for another long conversation with you
One day, there shall be no crazy emotions
No tears, no pain but no smiles and laughter too
Oh that day would come in my life one day
In a day that shall be known to Earth as my death
On the day I would take my last breath...

 

 

Of Facing Fears

   In my life, I had proven several times that it is on the confusion that we can be pushed to make things become more understandable. Each of us has stories of doubts and fear. Those were truly interesting and powerful stories worthy to be shared. It is never easy to be in those moments of anxieties and ambiguities--- if you could only skip the feeling, right? Yet, from the instant we decided to face them no matter how afraid we were and then just find ourselves holding on to our faith, we are giving way to another set of stories in our lives. This time, however, it’s not about the doubt and the fear anymore but of courage, success and deliverance, just like this story from Misyon’s Hideaway section entitled Cautious.

     My story in writing is also a story of facing fear.

   I had so many doubts when I started sharing my story---with all the emotions that comes with it, misunderstanding and instabilities, pain or lack of faith. Yet I just grip to the fact that I had always been inspired every time I listen to the story of others. That led me to the first step of being open for these experiences that could both uplift us and put us down; the experiences that come from courageous act of sharing our emotions and feelings with others; the act of laughing with them, becoming teary-eyed with them, and being strengthened by them. It is truly a blessing to hear the experiences of other people, learn from them and draw insights from their story.

     When I listen to the story of my friends and those I had worked with before, I had also seen some portion of myself in them and thus, I had acquired better understanding of who I am. I was able to relate myself and discover my humanity and it is always a hope for me that my story will also help others in their search for their own humanity, knowing that part of living is to be challenged into entering into our world of discomfort, ‘our crosses.’ That has made writing as one of the bravest things I had ever done in my life, more than any plunge and fall, and twirl in the sky or in Enchanted Kingdom or waves in the ocean. In the process, I discovered precious gems, and thoughts I know I could only arrive at because of God’s overflowing grace and love.

There Shall Be

Now all that I should do is to celebrate
And be better and happier
What’s been done has been done
I should face the now
Accept that we all commit mistakes
This is how it is
And I’d rather chose an imperfect world
That is real
Rather than a perfect space
That is unreal.
It’s alright now
Face the world
Run a race
Compose a song
Write more until tears dry up
Don’t escape, this is the present: this is the time to live.
Don’t dwell in the past,
Don’t be anxious of the future.
Forgive yourself
Remember you should be alright now.
Achieve your dreams…
You’ve gotten friends
You have yourself
You have God
You are strong
You are fine
Look at the moon, then the shining sky
And be pacified
Because after 64 days
There shall be many more days
With him or without him

There shall be...

Paano ba Mag Move-on?

Paano ba magmove-on?
Ano ba? Mag-aala-una na ng madaling araw,
Dilat pa din ang mga mata ko
Pagod naman ako pero malikot talaga ang isip ko…
May naaalala na naman kasi ako

Ano ba? Paano ba mag-move on?
Iuntog ko kaya ang ulo ko?
Ay ayoko nun…
Sayang naman ang inaral kong physics at algebra
Sayang naman ang pangalan kong makakalimutan ko lang…
Sayang naman ang pagbabasa ko ng mga Republic Acts pala…
Ah, idaan ko kaya sa gamot?
Kaso la naman atang gamot para dito, o meron ba pero di ko lang alam?
O kung wala man, dapat may gumawa na nyan…
Sigurado ako kahit magpustahan pa tayo, bebenta talaga yan
Ang alak nga, di naman talaga nakakahilom, pinapatos na lang ng tao,
Para sa kunwa-kunwariang lakas ng loob,
Para sa panandaliang paglimot… Di ba?
Pero seryoso ako, gawin na talaga ang gamot na yan…
Tiyak pagkakaguluhan yan at dadayuhin
Kaliwa’t kanan ang mag-oorder nyan,
Mapapagod ang mga magmamanufacture at nagdi-deliver
Yayaman ang chemist, pharmacist at doctor…
Sa dami ba naman ng mga bigo at sawi sa mundo…
Kaso matagal pa ata yun…
Hay sige, patusin ko na lang muna kung anong meron dito…

Kilala mo ba si Edgar Dale?
Maigoogle nga ulit para di lang pang facebook ang silbi ng wi-fi…
Ayon sa kanyang Cone of Experience,
People generally remember 70% of what they say and write
At ang outcome na yun ang nagbigay ng pundasyon sa cone
Kasi dun daw we, “analyze, define, create and evaluate.”
Nandun ang effective learning. Eureka!
Kaso, may sad news din dun sa cone.
Sabi din dun, people generally remember only 10% of what they read…
Ganun!? 10% lang ng mga pinagsusulat ko dito ang maalala nya
Kalungkot naman, pero teka lang, may karugtong pa pala ang teorya nya…
Kung naranasan daw ng tao through direct purposeful experience,
Maaalala nya yun, 90%! Sana maalala din nya So paano na ulit mag-move on?
Di ko pa din alam eh…
Ang alam ko lang, hindi yun pinipilit kaya papalitan ko na lang ang salita
Kung di ko pa carry yan, eh di go on na lang…
Dahil di tumitigil ang pag-ikot ng mundo
Kaya dapat tuloy pa din ang buhay! 

Go on, aja, eureka, good night este good morning pala! 

Picking up the Pieces

    In Father Sean’s blog and in our Misyon forum, he spoke about the resiliency of Filipinos; of people ‘picking up from pieces and starting again.’ Yesterday, I have seen such both literally and in the deeper meaning of those words. Along the way, we have seen how people started ‘picking up the pieces’ of woods, wires, trees, plants, chairs, clothing, toys, and some documents like notebooks in school and several photographs. We’ve seen how they tried building their houses and fixing their roofs again. We were able to talk with some of them, and if I could think of a theme that really came out from short conversations with them, then that would be starting again. They talked about praying incessantly not just about themselves but for other survivors and victims of Yolanda. The mayor of Cadiz City, Negros Occidental told our group that there were 7000 damaged houses.

    
      Rehabilitation would take time. On our way home, darkness covers the community because there is still no electricity. But it was only the temporary darkness of the night that comes to the people, not their hearts. The people are still filled of light and hope. They know they can stand up again…

      Let us continue praying for those who have been affected by the typhoon especially to those who are in Leyte. We pray for the souls of the dead and for the strength of those they had left behind. Death is really a part of life, hence while we are still alive, we should make the most out of it. Our mission continues. Let us bring hope. Let us help others ‘pick up the pieces.’

My Papa, my Greatest Glory

     In my father’s some moments of depression and then enlightenment too, before he died, I could still recall how he disclosed some of his regrets and frustrations. In my young mind that time, I was able to catch insights which have never left me since then. He shared about how tired he was of being angry with others often and if he would do it again, he will practice more of forgiveness. He spoke about how death could come as a challenge but at the same time opportunity to express love. In my heart, I know it was his deep way of telling me that the most fulfilling life is that of a life lived in showing kindness and love to others, regardless of such kindness and love being returned to you or not. And then I heard him said those words that stayed not just in the surface of my being but even to the core of my soul--- he called me his greatest glory. 

       That was him. When he seemed to lose all the raptures of living, he would only thought about us and he is back to life. All things would suddenly become bearable for him. I miss him and I remember him everyday even its not November 1 or 2, or his birthday, or my birthday which he would really celebrate with all he could ever give, or his death anniversary. I remember him not because of my nickname which is very far from my real name or because he used to bring me to and fetch me from school and carry me when I’m already complaining of walking. I miss him and I remember him in every way I know about him, had felt because of him and has been now because of him. 

       And when flowers, candles, food and prayers are offered today for all the departed souls like his ever-living-soul, I am offering my life and how I am living it and will live it in kindness, forgiveness and love for and with my papa, my greatest glory too…

Of Photographs and Memories

    ‘A little girl with her small brother strapped on her back gives us a glimpse of life in the mountains of Peru, especially for children. For me it stirred lots of memories, mostly good, but also some sad ones . . .’

     I found those lines to be striking and true. Fr Leo Donnelly's article What’s in a Photo? made me reflect on how photos can keep memories lasting and fresh. We can feel some portion of our history through the images and even emotions that are ‘immortalized’ by photos. Our past can be reminisced about once again as I have personally experienced going back to my younger years after taking a look at our old albums. With pictures we can always have many chances of recalling the laughter and the tears, the memorable events and occasions in our life that can remind us of our growth and the most embarrassing moment that we can learn lessons from.

     In the story, we read that a photo can stir the memories of how the ‘Shining Path’ terrorists took away lives of innocents. In my reflection, the photo reminds us to pray for the lives of those who were killed and for those people whom they have left behind: Lucia Ricaldi, mother of two infant daughters, the parents of the Yachaychin brothers and the father of their cousin, the wife who was killed when she went to the defense of her husband, the parents of their three catechists, the eleven other people who were also assassinated, and the 32 people who were killed by the Shining Path, including Australian Sister of St Joseph Irene McCormack. That photo reflected their memories but it is our own living hearts that will make their memories alive.

     As for me, after looking at the photo of that little girl with her small brother strapped on her back, I was able to feel the life of the children in other parts of the world and also how an older sister can become a real sister to her younger brother. In the photo there was also an expression of love and responsibility between them and in them.

     I believe that can speak a lot whether they are candid or rehearsed. Try spending a little time uncovering the already dusty photo albums and frames in your closet and witness yourself lavish your attention on those memories of yours once again. Then, one more thing, the next time somebody prepares his camera, be sure to capture the real moment...1...2...3...smile! What a perfect angle!

      This article is originally published in Misyon. You can also see the photograph in the link.

A Journey with a Photographer, Jeepney Passengers and a Young Rider

     This was another travel that just came into Sahid's mind and I'm referring him here as the photographer. We were actually planning to go to Baler, but the time, the weather, and in my case the budget would not allow us to head there. Well, I guess Baler is still waiting for its right moment.

      Yet this trip has been just worth the change of plan. I tried to stop myself from expecting anything though, but I searched for the place too so that I will know what should I bring in my backpack. We are supposed to be three in the group, but we ended up with the two of us. We are supposed to meet at the bus station by 5:30 but we ended up meeting at 7:30. Those could all be bummers but there’s something I could not explain that time that made me say ‘yes, we will push through.’

       It was 6th of October and traffic was not as terrible as it normally would. Yet we didn’t think that it would be the waiting from Cabanatuan to General Tinio that would consume much of the time. We should have taken the bus going to Gapan, Nueva Ecija but we took the wrong way--- another bummer. But then again, we were not dispirited that easy. Sahid was obviously enjoying while honing his photography skills, and he had no other option but to take me as the willing model.

     Inside the jeepney we were engaging with conversations about different realities. I believe such conversations had made the trip even meaningful. Inside that jeepney, people were just so spontaneous. They were telling us portions of their lives. We have a mother with her two children suddenly disclosing that she was afraid that her husband would catch them. She just left home without permission. She wanted to go home. Her young boy was peacefully sleeping on her lap, unaware of what’s happening while her young girl was looking outside, perhaps anxious of where they were going. The mother’s eyes were giving me that message of how determined she was and we could only pray with her.

       While waiting too, there were several children coming to us and begging for coins. I handed quail eggs to a child and then I remembered how I thought aloud and said that street children are everywhere, from urban to rural. Its not just saying that poverty is anywhere. Its more of saying that neglect is anywhere too, and that's a sad reality.

      The lunch time already passed by and we were so hungry. That always happened to me in my trips, and I should be more prepared next time. After looking for snacks we already felt the pressure that we have to be moving and getting to somewhere aside from that terminal in the marketplace. Hence we desperately announced that we will be paying for the three lacking persons. That made everybody else suddenly alive. The passengers were already laughing with us in the joke that the driver must have been the old woman collecting the transportation! We don't really know each other but we all have one goal: to be on our destinations and that goal had made us felt that we are one.

       I couldn’t anymore remember how long it took us before we reached the town. I was just amazed that right there on that jeepney again, somebody volunteered to bring us to Minalungao. While most shared about some spooky and enchanting stories about the place as though we were urban legend writers and I have to admit that had made me think to just go somewhere else, there’s this young boy who bravely spoke that he used to go there. No more room for fears and our problem on how we can get to the place was already solved. No more bummers! In fact, we were both being led to another interesting story of a 15-year old boy.

       I am calling him here as the rider. I may have had forgotten his real name, but I will never forget him and his story. He was only fifteen years old, but he knows how to save money and he had even bought a motorcycle from his tour guiding. Yet another amazing thing I had seen from him was how excited he was to see his best friend. He may have denied it but I had felt how he had become even happier when he had seen her. I know it’s not about the place. He’s always going there. It was not about the best friend touring us around because she lives there, but it’s on the joy of being able to talk with each other again. That reminded me of the friendships I have too. Looking in that another wonderful paradise we have on Earth, I was also thinking about the excitement and genuineness I have seen from these young people. It is that excitement and genuineness that every one of us also need, whether we recognize it or not. The moment we become subdued, we lost the eyes and the heart of experiencing new things and feelings too. I’m just so glad that despite all the nuisances, we still continued the journey. I guess, that’s how it goes in life too. When circumstances seem not to favor you, or when you have so many fears that stop you, you have to learn how to ride along with such annoyances and ambiguities too. You can still pursue your goals if that’s what you really feel. You may have not yet realized it, but the universe is already conspiring to your desires and the moment you wake up from sleeping in a bus or the plane has landed, you find yourself being changed by new things you have learned and reflected upon, and then new people you have meet in the jeepney or wherever, and then, ride along again until you are already home. 

Along the scenic, green pristine Peñaranda River
Bordered by mystically formed limestone walls
In foothills of Sierra Madre mountain range,
A writer journeyed with a photographer and a rider.

with the photographer Sahid

with the rider and his friend

On a Sunday when we overcame whatever urban legends told
To find beauty, friendships, courage, adventure and nature
And that was how, only yesterday, I had welcomed October
And all the changes it will be bringing right now, right here…

A Throwback-Themed Birthday Greeting

Let me throwback images though it’s not a Thursday
For a beautiful and loving woman named Melly
And in the midst of all the greetings and gifts
For one of world’s best mom, that is her
May this, no matter how simple, in a way would show
How blessed and grateful I had been
For having met someone as wonderful as she is
And for the few moments that we had shared
In the Earth blanketed by oceans and sands,
Filled with marvelous views and soothing wine.

Let me throwback with these pictures the learning as well
Because since the day our lives had intertwined
I had known of faith and courage by example
And that was how a great teacher taught me beyond books
In the balance of laughter and serious tones
And over coffee conversations.

Oh, how I wish I could throw back too
The brand of care she had given...

But for now, with this that I have,
I’m sending my heart with my tightest hug, my love and my prayers
And let that heart of mine run across the miles
To look for that beautiful and loving woman named Melly
In a throwing back of lessons and memories on a Saturday.

The Rose and the Bee

     A bee saw a stunning rose she got tempted to pick. Bees do not really like roses but there was something different about that rose. It was a rose so fascinating to the point that the soul in her care not of the thorns, and all the elements around it. The bee just want to hold that rose in her hands and then for it to be always within her sight, within her reach, wherever she go. But what kind of joy would she have, or will she even have a drop of it, if she would choose to call that rose as her own or push herself to it, but then would have to press it in her diary? It was a blossoming rose and the soul cannot afford to kill it in her hands, so it would be far better for it to stay there and continue growing. After all, that was what true love is all about. And so life for the bee went on and in moments when she got drown with memories and the scent of it, she consoled herself with the thought that it was the rightest thing to do, but forgot that because it was a stunning rose, others got tempted too, and the next time she found herself flying towards it and her eyes traveled to see that rose again, she couldn't find it anymore and it was already pressed on somebody else’s diary...

When What Hurts You Make You Smile

(Excerpt from my After 64 Days)

       Love could make life so confusing, but without love, would you really want to live? 

     Such words, perhaps I had read somewhere I forgot, kept on coming back to me as we flew to Hong Kong on the 28th in November of 2012. I was with a Muslim friend and classmate. It was a much needed trip for her, but I didn’t know that until we were already heading towards Clark. What she shared to me about her traumatic experiences during the war in Mindanao and the struggle she had while growing up and how she get through and still striving moved me in ways so strange. It’s always like that, and I kept on wondering how unique each feelings and realizations were in every new soul, new story, and new courageous act of storytelling. 

     The work that my friend is doing has been in the human and social development field, though her bachelor’s degree is in Agriculture. I had understood better where she is coming from; how deep is her motivation and purpose, her heart and her dreams. She is fighting for herself and for others, although she is wounded too, just like me. But she had turned those wounds into wisdom--- so weighty that they had even turned invisible. And as I had found some aspects of myself with her, I found my tears too and admiration to her, and then there we were, both indulged and had already pass through our destination. 

     It was really a budget trip, and we did not book for any place to stay when we arrived in Hong Kong. After trying the train which was one of our goals, we walked and then walked again, and stayed in parks after parks. It was a total adventure: journeying into unknown and relying on arrows and maps, and little research. 

    And since we want for more adventure, we decided to cross towards Macau. When we got another passport stamp, we then realized that the Philippine islands are really more challenging to explore because for some our country could already be several countries. We arrived at the Macau Fisherman’s Wharf and started walking again. And we don’t know where we are getting all of our energies, despite lack of sleep and effects of some emotional pouring outs. We enjoyed and forgot for a while our worries as we traversed the Dynasty Wharf which is composed of many Chinese towers built in the imitation of the Tang-style. Then we felt being brought into a different world as east meets west through structures which are of oriental traditions but of western design.

     As I stood in the 40-metre tall man-made volcano, waterfalls, architectures of Greece,an ancient battleship, an Arabian children’s play area, a Roman Amphitheater and exhibition facilities and seen their game center known as the Legend Wharf, I could still remember him. How could he do that? I am already miles away but his memories still lingers into my mind. I am next to crazy I guess.

     Perhaps the problem really lies on me. I am already losing patience of myself. I’m damn tired, and I even exhaust myself physically but it’s only the body that gives up. My mind and my heart are still full of energy and full of love. But what can I do? I still love him, and I want to love him more and I am conceding to my foolishness because that means my happiness too.

And then I traveled a lot

More than what I used to be

Meet mountain, meet oceans

Meet skies, meet people

But at the end of the day, of the weeks

Of the month

I still love him…

     I can say that one of the reasons I find hard to let go of everything that hurts me was because they are the same things and memories, people and events that can make me smile. And thus, I kept on holding on to them to the point that it was not healthy anymore. 

     I had been so ridiculous for months already, yeah I know. I have to check the wounds this time and hope that they had been healed already without me noticing it. I have to elucidate what really happiness is for me. However, it’s easy to say that happiness is a choice, but I must utter from experience that it would be a different story in real life. It is not something that we can just pick in a total package and then bring it wherever we go. It is not something we can grab on. If it is a decision, it’s even harder to stand for it when you know it’s not just about you. 

     As we go along life, we will find ourselves giving up our own happiness for the sake of others- for their happiness and peace of mind or giving in to our principles for the sake of our own happiness and just to please the world, and then meeting some regrets along the way because of enjoying on temporary feelings but consoling yourself that it would be better than having nothing at all. There’s only two way to go, either to be happy or to become sad for days and nights which appeared longer than how they actually are.

To Love and to Research

   Love has to be interpreted or else it means nothing. But how do we interpret is not only coming from the person who tried to think and would got next-to-crazy thinking and recalling each feeling and experience that had happened. It is also how the other led the one who interprets to think and feel that way. Even if we think we don’t know how to love or we think that the only thing we could relate is about us loving ourselves, isn't it that the self has to love you back still for you to totally experience love? Love is more than a word. It is a question but an answer too. It is a relationship.

   Research is more than a word too. We could have so many questions or start questioning everything and start becoming uncomfortable because of so many changes, or inconsistencies, or conflicting ideas revealing before us. But what would that mean if at the end we gain domination and control but still not understand and appreciate nature? What would materialistic naturalism mean if at the end we were not able to participate actively to the process towards transcendence and fulfillment?

  Phenomenology is about being artistic and scientific at the same time. It is a relationship between knowledge and wisdom for us to live well with our self and with others. It is being authentically concern to those who unloaded their stories and not just being concern for their words and then our titles. And it is only in the moment that we start interpreting not just using sensory empiricism and logical rationalism but even with the use of our intuitive discernment that we can make transformation takes place. It would create much difference the moment we communicate not only with the telephone but even through telepathy. This type of research is like profoundly experiencing what love is--- for it is about becoming more sensitive and creative. It is going beyond senses and reasons, just like love.

Monkayo, Compostela Valley

Summer 2013 Reflections

A Reflection Paper on Sociology of Communication 

   Back to my earlier education and formations, I had been, just like most of us, bombarded with so many answers to so many questions. Upon knowing these and that, we would feel so smart. But when we go to the community and when we are being faced with complicated true-to-life circumstances, we would hear others asking us questions we’ve never heard before, and even arrive at the crossroads of our lives that we began asking ourselves confusing questions and we don’t know how to respond. From there we found ourselves searching for meaning. 

  Sociology is also being viewed as a study of relationship among systems and entities in our society. Communication is relationship too. The best graphics are created not by the mind alone but with the heart. The graphics have emotions on them. 

  Sociology of Communication is made up of images created by the mind as influenced by the heart’s emotions. According to Fr. Francis Lucas, old books would traditionally define it to be process of using signs and symbols. Sign indicates something else. It points to a particular concept or idea but it is not the thing itself. Meanwhile, symbol has meaning of its self. Sound is a sign. The notes and g-clef are symbols. However, what would be the most appropriate word is “image.” Image implies something bigger and deeper. It goes beyond signs and symbols. It involves even feelings and imagination. 

  Social Communication is anything we say. Mass media refers to instruments, means, technologies and programs as diffusion channels of communication. It is the amplification of bits and pieces of reality. 

   Academics are just part and parcel of what we are doing in action. We study communication and when we really start immersing ourselves into it, we found ourselves realizing that everything is communication. Sociology of Communication is conveying the reality of life. We had been given by the academe so many technical ways of defining communication but basically communication is sharing. We are senders and receivers at the same time. This is not about information alone. The power is actually experienced from having the right information in the right time for the right purpose. 

    One of the things that struck me was the discussion about self-talk. It is the inner speech that includes the questions and comments we made to ourselves. It is a powerful influence that we can use in thinking things through, in interpreting events and messages of others, and in responding to experience. 

    In studying about communication, it is important and life-changing to include the concept of self-talk. Positive self-talk increases focus, concentration and performance. When you stay encouraged and positive, your body will feel good. But if you believe you cannot do something, your brain will tell your body and it will shut down. 

     In communicating, knowing the factor of double image is also important. It depends on where our focus is. It is part of our perception. The angle that we see depends on where we are coming from. In media, it is known as the spin. Perception process is the process we use to assign meaning to data about ourselves and the world around us. Our perception is actually influenced by intensity, repetition, uniqueness, and relevance which are affected by interest, needs and motivations. 

    Mass media controls the mind and the heart. It can be very effective teacher and preacher. It has massive reach, deep impact and can attack the psyche. It can easily change the social behavior. In the negative side of it, it can be a very effective ‘rapist.’ It can corrupt the mind. It can promote negative values. Our mirror neurons can lead us to imitate and to be engaged in the feelings and actions of what we are watching. The web and the internet expert can use our mirror neurons to lead us to the way where they would want us to go. 

    But what is the key to any communication media is its soul. Man’s disposition should be expressed. For the soul to be committed to something, for it not to be empty and be rattled easily, it should have its purpose. What do we communicate? What do we give to the society? The global trends now are modern slavery, destruction of the natural resources and biodiversity, cancerous growth of urban centers of power and prestige and disintegration of families and community. It is a generation without parents, the third wave generation of digital age but a world with losing of much spiritual values. Inequity and disunity enhance moral crisis. It is the bankruptcy of morality that creates so much violence, pain and death. It happens when people start to misunderstand, and resort to war and conflict and turned lives into nothing but just collateral damage. It’s about time that we communicate for the purpose of building faith communities, authentic relationship, sustainable development and collective successes. 

    The world today has become richer than any other time. But we have so many poor compared to any other period of our history too. It seemed that we live in a world of contradiction. What do we say about poverty? We call it a state, and we try to compute it, but our problem is that we just define poverty and not really feel it. Have we asked how the poor feel, and really see them and understand them? Social communication is going beyond defining what’s going on with our society. It is not just making reports, statistics, and action plan. Social Participation is empowering the people how to decide and not just giving choices. On a personal level, I should get more into the habit of analyzing not only what to decide but how to decide. We should look at the reality and listen and feel the situation of others so that it will penetrate in our hearts too and make our communication a part of the solution to the problems of the world.

Communication for Development Summer Class 2013
Asian Social Institute

Excerpt from "How He Marked My Life"

It took me several weeks of feeling empty and lonely before I realized that I had mistaken the attention given of the new soul to being loved. I thought I had been a resilient person;that I was able to process every good and negative thing that had happened to me and so it will not hamper my present and my future anymore. I thought I had been reflecting enough so how could I fall on the same trap and have same wounds again--- though this is not exactly the same wounds because this time it is deeper.

I was wrong to think that there was magic between us. The world did not conspire and it will never be because the new soul is unwilling to act upon solutions. The new soul has only been contented going through the darkness, recognizing the confusion and attempting to express it vaguely and then confused another soul. And then the other soul went through the same darkness, confusion and expression--- as she is unconsciously in need of something that had never been completely processed.The other soul had thought she had only been a listener and just being authentic but in the profounder sense it is more of giving in to her vulnerabilities. It was that sense of seeking and then sense of being needed that draw the souls towards each other but instead of finding meaning and enlightenment, the souls ended up being lost.

It took much time, a good book from Miller, a travel, and a lot of in-depth conversations and reflections for a person like me who was appearing empty and lonely too and who had filled in an unspoken need just to realize that I was already falling in to a form of an enabling-dependent relationship. At the beginning, it felt so good and the grasp of the new kind of could- be- happiness is making the id produce the concept that the feeling is right. But the new soul’s less concern to the effect it had made to the other soul---to my soul--- is simply killing the other and even the realization is causing devastating effects that is aching to the chest, hurting to the ego and dimming to the pathway. And there is no other way now but to trust in the self that it will be stronger and that it will be alright soon; for I know that I have to honestly go through this process if I want true liberation and learning.

Education of the Heart

(A book review submitted to our Social Work Education class)

    
    The Education of the Heart is a book of readings and sources for care of the soul, soul mates and the re-enchantment of everyday life. It is edited by Thomas Moore. 

    The book has a very catchy introduction and reading such made me decide without any apprehension that this is the book I would spend time reading and then willingly review. 

     Education for me has been a challenge because for me to finish until college, I had made so many sacrifices. I had to live away from my family. I had to learn how to work. I had to discipline myself and balance time. Coming from that, I know that I knew ever since that education is something of value. But although education has a personal effect and has really been a part of my life, I had to admit that the pages of the book had made me realized that education should be more than that. It’s about time to see and feel education not just a requirement for a job, not just for earning for a living, not just for personal credentials or prestige. It is about time to feel education not as a need, not as something to be forced at the ‘self,’ not something to be scared about or to be tired and sick of. It’s about time--- and should have been a long time--- to place education in a very sacred space of our being--- in our heart, in our soul. It is about time--- and should have been a long time that we love education and let it love us. Having such reflections is making me happy now because it is making me feel that as my perception and relationship with education is changed, my life is also about to change. 

     The book made mention of education as an eduction. Education is the art of educing or bringing out what is latent in a person. Education is not the piling on of learning, information, data, facts, skills or abilities- that’s training or instructing- but is rather making visible what is hidden as a seed. I find such lines really beautiful and true especially in my profession. The essence of social work education for me is bringing out the best in the self, in the others, and in the world. Education is about enlightenment and empowerment. It is about inspiration. It is about making dreams reality. 

    Starting with the ceremonial cosmic walk, I was able to experience together with my classmates that sense of awesomeness of the space I have here in the universe. While I was involving myself in the unfolding process of the Earth, I was able to appreciate the life that I am having now; knowing that it had came from a very sacred history, or should I say herstory. I am amazed of my uniqueness and the same time of my commonality with other creatures in terms of origin. To be educated of that story with the entire community of the earth in this single sacred universe is a transformative experience and I think that is the essence of education too. 

     We had visited in the first part of our class how education has been as time passed by. During primitive times, education among people was directed to ensuring survival of the group, clan, or tribe through training of the young in skills and arts necessary to maintain life. After that we discussed about Renaissance which was a revival or rebirth of learning, a belief of dignity of human beings, a renewed spirit of nationalism, an increase of trade among countries, and a period of exploration. 

     In the Philippine Education System, we can trace that during the Pre-Spanish Period, the early Filipinos considered education as a way to preserve their culture and transmit this knowledge to future generations. During the Spanish Regime, schools were established with the objective of rearing children to learn skills acquired by the youth in Spain. The educational system was under the control of the Roman Catholic Church. 

     During the American era, education was a means by which people can be oriented toward a democratic way of life. They made education accessible to all. During the occupation of the Japanese, education was an instrument for Filipinos to embrace Japanese ideologies. It promoted vocational education and inspired people with the spirit of labor. 

     In the post war, all educational institutions shall be under the supervision of and subject to the regulation of the State. The government shall establish and maintain a complete and adequate system of public education, and shall provide at least free primary instruction and citizenship training to adult citizens. 

     As part of the Legal Basis, the country has the Educational Act of 1982 (Batas Pambansa Blg. 232) which applies to both private and public schools in the entire educational system. It aims to provide that the basic policy of the State is to establish and maintain a complete, adequate and integrated system of education relevant to the goals of national development. 

    Article XIV of the 1987 Philippine Constitution stated that “The State shall protect and promote the right of all citizens to quality education at all levels and shall take appropriate steps to make education accessible to all”. Yes, education should not be a privilege for those who can afford it and to those who have the opportunity. Education is a right. It should be within the reach of the people. But the book speaks not only education to be something around, but also something that is inside. Deep education entails an emergence of character and personality, and often takes the form of initiation. The Introduction of the book sights that a person can be educated by the death of a relative or friend. Experiences teach people. It gives them insights. It leads them to change. Education should be something that we experience on a personal level too, and not just in the classroom and in the school. To be educated, a person doesn’t have to know much or be informed, but he or she does have to have been exposed vulnerably to the transformative events of an engaged human life. Let this world be a school too. As a social worker, I am being taught more about this profession by the lives and realities of the clients that we serve and the community where we are needed. 

     I agree that one of the great problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated. True to our modern values and vision, we tend to the instruction of the mind and the training of the body, while we generally neglect the soul. It’s not surprising that as our culture advances in information and technology, we seem to become more inarticulate about matters of the heart. We quantify ‘human behavior’ and I believe if social workers will not be conscious of this, we too can fall into trap of quantifying human behavior. We develop programs of therapy and treatment, but do they really have much effect? That question really caught my attention. Do I understand the matter of the soul? I think I am one of those who could still encounter the soul chiefly as a set of intractable problems rather than as a creative and constructive source of life. Now is the time to be more reflective. Now is the time for me to meditate on the specific events of my life, and think about what they are telling to me as a whole. 

      I really like how the soul is being described in the book. The soul is more enticed by the past, especially by the beauty and wisdom that is our world heritage. We have to learn from our ancestors. I think on the personal level, an important part of being truly educated is to be able to learn how to reflect on the struggles and victories of people before us. In my opinion as well, that is the beauty of being able to write our auto bibliographies. In the process of recalling what we had been through, we are able to re-visit decisions, actions, perspectives and events that had taken place in our lives. We then maintain our connection with our entire being and we establish recognition and relationship with our soul. 

     The book has contents which require feelings before one can actually understand what has been expressed. I had to re-read them and then recall particular experience before I was able to get into what the writer has been saying. True, I agree in the book that we should not be taking a purely mental approach to the selections. We should read them with and by heart. It is shifting from a mechanical to a soul-centered world by giving up the intrusive quest for information, clarity, definition and answers. Instead, enter into the beauty of language and thought. And so I just find myself meditating on the book, reading passages aloud, writing them down for future reference, posting some quotes in face book and telling them to friends. For me, one of the main messages of Charles Cooley then is that this is not just about us. We cannot totally be far from others. These are just some of the ways of committing them to memory and then sharing them to others which for me is the goal of education. These are all ways of educating the heart. 

      One of my favorite parts of the book is this line: there is much to lose when we focus only on meaning. I agree with this, as I too, had several conversations with a friend about trying to understand events in our lives. Most of the time, we end up getting tired over-analyzing things, and when I had read that line, it seems like the heaven has given me an answer. We had been so meaning-focused, that we had sometimes failed to enjoy things as they are. As it is mentioned in the book, from the soul perspective, meaning is less important than meaningfulness. Ideas that move us with the grace of their presentation penetrate the heart and serve purposes that go beyond understanding, as they foster passion, interest and decision. In my life, I am glad to witness how I am growing each day through participation and then, contemplation in the experiences which has molded me. 

        I also agree that writers of the past still speak and have a presence in us, and this is also one of the reasons why I had always believe in the power of writing, and that’s one of the reasons why I had never stopped writing my experiences through poems, short stories and narratives. We can hear their voices in the words, phrases and sentences of their books. We are present to them as they present themselves to us. It was really an opportunity for me to enter in many conversations in the book. In the process, it expanded my own community. I was able to engage in the voices of the past with my heart and soul. For me, this is also a validation of how important reading is in our life-long education process. If we want to widen our horizons, we must never stop reading. 

       Without an education, the heart presents itself as a cauldron of raw emotions, suspicious desires and disconnected images. Dreams appear stupefying, longings inappropriate, and relationships confounding. Without an animating, educated heart, the intellect appears superior, and we give too much attention and value to it. Our institutions and ideas then lack the humanizing breath of the soul. Education of the proper kind brings into view the order and sense in matters of the heart that otherwise seem elusive, and position the heart to play a significant role in affairs of the mind. For me, this means that we should put heart to knowledge. Why are we studying? What is it making to our relationships to others and to the environment and in our commitment to the society? For me, education should be purposeful. It should lead to service, to peace and to love. 

       Soul is a strange word. For me, it will always be mysterious, and not just because I was able to review the book, then I could already go out and claim to everyone that I had understood the depth of the human soul. But something beautiful and life-changing happened to me in the process of reading the book. I was able to listen to my soul. It is really there, and it is telling me a lot: from pain to happiness, from sorrow to hope, from confusion to peace, from hatred to love…Wondering about the soul, seeking adequate language for it, wanting definition and insight, all mark the beginning of the process of bringing soul to life. Care of the soul begins in a felt acknowledgment of its reality and importance. The soul becomes more present as we consider it in our conversation, writing, meditating and the thoughtful living of our everyday lives. But because the soul has such deep roots in personal and social life and its values run so contrary to modern concerns, caring for the soul may well turn out to be a radical act, a challenge to accepted norms. Now, I am accepting that challenge courageously and excitedly! 

       James Hillman in Re-Visioning Psychology defined soul to be a perspective rather than a substance, a viewpoint toward things rather than a thing itself. This perspective is reflective; it meditates events and makes differences between ourselves and everything that happens. Between us and events, between the doer and the deed, there is a reflective moment-and soul-making means differentiating this middle ground. Yes, I agree. How can we say that we were really educated if we were not able to experience and practice the process of reflection, leading towards transformation? 

     As the book pointed out, love, desire and pleasure are the chief signals of the presence of soul. The soul will be called out from hiding and then we will be educated in the deepest sense. Indeed, it is a lifetime of contemplation on certain phrases and ideas. Yes, I should that the selections in the book are so deep, yet on a very positive way, for it is inviting me to think by heart. I could never fully grasp their meaning but in the process, I would be more intimate with their mysteries. This is how I put heart and soul to my learning and that is something I should be doing in process forever. Every time I learn something, it should change me positively. And I should inspire others to be renewed positively too, and then there would be a true change in the world, and only then, we can truly say that we had put justice, heart and soul to what education really is.

Bantayan Island, Cebu
Gawad Kalinga Build Challenge 2011

  

Sagada's Sumaguing Cave

Social Work Board Passer's 2011 Oath Taking
Manila Hotel