In my father’s some moments of depression and then enlightenment too, before he died, I could still recall how he disclosed some of his regrets and frustrations. In my young mind that time, I was able to catch insights which have never left me since then. He shared about how tired he was of being angry with others often and if he would do it again, he will practice more of forgiveness. He spoke about how death could come as a challenge but at the same time opportunity to express love. In my heart, I know it was his deep way of telling me that the most fulfilling life is that of a life lived in showing kindness and love to others, regardless of such kindness and love being returned to you or not. And then I heard him said those words that stayed not just in the surface of my being but even to the core of my soul--- he called me his greatest glory.
That was him. When he seemed to lose all the raptures of living, he would only thought about us and he is back to life. All things would suddenly become bearable for him. I miss him and I remember him everyday even its not November 1 or 2, or his birthday, or my birthday which he would really celebrate with all he could ever give, or his death anniversary. I remember him not because of my nickname which is very far from my real name or because he used to bring me to and fetch me from school and carry me when I’m already complaining of walking. I miss him and I remember him in every way I know about him, had felt because of him and has been now because of him.
And when flowers, candles, food and prayers are offered today for all the departed souls like his ever-living-soul, I am offering my life and how I am living it and will live it in kindness, forgiveness and love for and with my papa, my greatest glory too…
No comments:
Post a Comment